The Lanchester traditionBradby, G. F. (Godfrey Fox)
History
The Lanchester tradition
Bradby, G. F. (Godfrey Fox)
Endowed public schools (Great Britain) -- Fiction
Mr. Trimble, though he was one of the best housemasters at Chiltern,
was a man of rather insignificant appearance. The youngest Miss Gussy
had once said of him that he always looked as if he were wearing
somebody else’s cast-off clothes. On this particular afternoon he
had on an ulster of antique design and faded yellow colour, which
contrasted unfavourably with the smart coat of his rival and seemed to
brand him as of inferior rank.
“The moral effect of that last goal,” said Mr. Bent, whose sympathies
were with the ulster, “may be disastrous; but the game is not over
yet. I must confess that I am beginning to be horribly excited. I have
not got your philosophic detachment, Trimble; and the sight of Chowdler
on the touch-line, clapping his great woollen gloves together, always
arouses most unchristian feelings in me. I want to see him, not merely
beaten, but crushed, disgraced, annihilated. Well played! Oh, well
played!”
For the Trimbleites, stung by disaster, had roused themselves to
superhuman efforts and were once more attacking fiercely. There was
a confused _mêlée_ in front of Chowdler’s goal. Suddenly the referee
blew his whistle, and when the players separated it was seen that a
Chowdlerite was lying disabled on the ground.
“Did you see that?” cried Mr. Chowdler, rushing up to Mr. Black, whom
he spied in his neighbourhood.
Mr. Black was a cautious man and shy of committing himself to excitable
colleagues, so he replied:
“I was just looking the other way, so I didn’t see what happened; but I
fear somebody is injured.”
“It is one of the most deliberate and foulest bits of play,” said Mr.
Chowdler in a voice for all to hear, “that I have ever witnessed.
Shameful, shameful! From this moment I take no further interest in the
game. Good God!” he added suddenly, throwing up his hands in a gesture
of despair, “it’s le Willow!” And he hurried off to assist the victim.
Le Willow had sprained an ankle and had to be helped off the field.
When he had been removed and the players had resumed their places, it
became evident that the referee had awarded a free kick. “All very
well!” muttered Mr. Chowdler to Mr. Rankin, as he hurried back to his
post on the touch-line, “but what’s the use of a free kick when it has
cost you your best man!”
It was indeed a poor consolation--merely a black mark against an
unscrupulous foe who cared nothing for black marks. But imagine Mr.
Chowdler’s horror, indignation, and dismay, when he suddenly realised
that the free kick had been awarded, not for, but against his house.
“Monstrous!” he cried aloud, as if appealing to the silent gods.
“Monstrous! I saw the foul, I saw it myself. A perfectly monstrous
decision!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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