Looking back I marvel at the ridiculous ease with which the thing was
accomplished. Still more do I marvel at my own part in it. Brought up as
I had been, shielded from the ill winds of existence, taught the
perfunctory, conventional standards of behavior that suffice for those
whose lives are lived according to a little-varying plan, I should have
shrunk from further infraction of the law. Indeed it is no more than
could have been expected had I refused absolutely to lend myself to
Barreau’s desperate plan. Conscious that I had done no wrong I might
have been moved to veto an enterprise that imperiled me, to protest
against his drawing me further into his own troublous coil. But I did
nothing of the sort. It did not occur to me. My point of view was no
longer that of the son of a St. Louis gentleman. And the transition was
so complete, so radical, and withal, so much the growth of the past
three weeks, that I was unaware of the change.
I know of no clearer illustration of the power of environment.
Indubitably I should have looked askance at a man who tacitly admitted
himself more or less of a criminal, making no defense, no denial. The
traditions of my class should have kept me aloof, conscious of my own
clean hands. This, I repeat, was what might have been expected of me:
Put to me as an abstract proposition, I would have been very positive of
where I should stand.
But without being conscious of any deviation from my previous concepts
of right and wrong, I found myself all agog to help Slowfoot George
escape. For myself, there was no question of flight. That, we agreed
upon, at the outset. I could gain nothing by putting myself at odds with
Canadian law, for the law itself would free me in its meteing out of
justice. But with him it was different; he admitted the fact. And even
so I found myself making nothing of the admission. He conformed to none
of my vague ideas of the criminal type. In aiding him to be free I
seemed to be freeing myself by proxy, as it were; and how badly I
desired to be quit of the strange tangle that enmeshed me, none but
myself can quite appreciate.
After all, so far as my help was concerned it consisted largely of what
Barreau dryly termed, “moral support.” I acquiesced in the necessity. I
stood on the lookout for interruptions. He did the work.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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