After dinner we all went on deck and watched the unfamiliar scenes of a
Capronian night—that is, all but von Schoenvorts. There was less to see than to
hear. From the great inland lake behind us came the hissing and the screaming
of countless saurians. Above us we heard the flap of giant wings, while from
the shore rose the multitudinous voices of a tropical jungle—of a warm, damp
atmosphere such as must have enveloped the entire earth during the Palezeoic
and Mesozoic eras. But here were intermingled the voices of later eras—the
scream of the panther, the roar of the lion, the baying of wolves and a
thunderous growling which we could attribute to nothing earthly but which one
day we were to connect with the most fearsome of ancient creatures.
One by one the others went to their rooms, until the girl and I were left alone
together, for I had permitted the watch to go below for a few minutes, knowing
that I would be on deck. Miss La Rue was very quiet, though she replied
graciously enough to whatever I had to say that required reply. I asked her if
she did not feel well.
“Yes,” she said, “but I am depressed by the awfulness of it all. I feel of so
little consequence—so small and helpless in the face of all these myriad
manifestations of life stripped to the bone of its savagery and brutality. I
realize as never before how cheap and valueless a thing is life. Life seems a
joke, a cruel, grim joke. You are a laughable incident or a terrifying one as
you happen to be less powerful or more powerful than some other form of life
which crosses your path; but as a rule you are of no moment whatsoever to
anything but yourself. You are a comic little figure, hopping from the cradle
to the grave. Yes, that is our trouble—we take ourselves too seriously; but
Caprona should be a sure cure for that.” She paused and laughed.
“You have evolved a beautiful philosophy,” I said. “It fills such a longing in
the human breast. It is full, it is satisfying, it is ennobling. What wondrous
strides toward perfection the human race might have made if the first man had
evolved it and it had persisted until now as the creed of humanity.”
“I don’t like irony,” she said; “it indicates a small soul.”
“What other sort of soul, then, would you expect from ‘a comic little figure
hopping from the cradle to the grave’?” I inquired. “And what difference does
it make, anyway, what you like and what you don’t like? You are here for but an
instant, and you mustn’t take yourself too seriously.”
She looked up at me with a smile. “I imagine that I am frightened and blue,”
she said, “and I know that I am very, very homesick and lonely.” There was
almost a sob in her voice as she concluded. It was the first time that she had
spoken thus to me. Involuntarily, I laid my hand upon hers where it rested on
the rail.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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