The Landloper: The Romance of a Man on FootDay, Holman
General
The Landloper: The Romance of a Man on Foot
Day, Holman
Political corruption -- Fiction; Water-supply -- Fiction
On a balmy forenoon a jovial-appearing old gentleman went jogging out
of the mill city of Marion and along a country road in his two-wheeled
chaise. He sat erect and he was tall above the average of men, and he
was very neat in his attire.
“I wish,” he mused, “that the men who could really appreciate a
good outfit of clothing and could use the same properly were not so
infernally touchy. As it is, cranky human nature drives me out on an
expedition like this--and I'm afraid I am just as cranky as the rest of
'em, otherwise I wouldn't be doing this!”
The old gentleman hummed a song under his breath and slapped his reins
against the flanks of the plodding horse to keep time. He came into a
piece of woodland. He seemed to take cheery and fresh interest in this
place. He poked his rubicund face out from the shadow of the chaise's
canopy and peered to right and to left. There was a smile in his puckery
eyes. When there were trees ahead of him, trees behind him, and trees
all about he pulled his old horse to a standstill.
He listened, squinted quizzically through the glass of his chaise's rear
curtain, and then climbed down. From a box at the rear of the vehicle he
secured various articles of clothing and draped them over his arm.
There was a frock-coat, not too badly worn, trousers in good repair,
waistcoat, and a shirt. He also took out of the box a pair of shoes and
a hat. With this load he went to the roadside and began to rig out a
fence-post. When the garments were hung on it and the broad-brimmed,
black, slouch-hat had been jauntily set on top of the post, anybody
could see that the old gentleman was thus disposing of some of his own
extra clothing. He was wearing a similar hat and a frock-coat, himself,
and the decorated post took on a bizarre and slouchy resemblance to its
decorator.
He went back to the chaise and found a nickel alarm-clock in the box. He
wound this up carefully and propped it on a rail of the fence near the
clothing.
Before he could escape from the vicinity of the exhibit and get into
his chaise a wagon came rattling around the bend of the road. There were
firkins and jars in the rear of this wagon and the driver was plainly a
farmer-man.
He pulled up short and then saluted the old gentleman with a stab of
forefinger at his hat-brim.
“Any trouble, Judge?” he inquired, affably.
“None at all,” replied the old gentleman, edging away from the fully
garbed fence-post.
“Airing 'em out, hey?” A jab of the forefinger toward the garments.
“No, leaving them out.”
All at once the old gentleman appeared to remember something else. He
took off his hat and produced a placard. He straightened it and stuck it
into a crack in a fence-rail. Its legend was “Help Yourself.”
“You're giving them clothes away, are you, Judge Peterson?”
“I am leaving them here for any one who chooses to take them. Do you
want first pick, Jolson?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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