"Oh, fudge!" interrupted Micky. "I was there once and it's a wonder I didn't turn out a lush for life. Honest, I'd done everything in my time, but that assignment got me wingin'. I get cross-eyed yet every time I think about it and I talk really maudlin. I can't tell what I say those times but the boys say it's fierce. Say I murmur fool talk about putting it onto the green and bawling on the bunkers. I don't know. I guess I got it all in my head that time, but somehow I never could make it jibe. "You see it was when I was on the Signal in Gulf City. Old man sent for me one day and says, 'There's a three-day golf meet starts tomorrow morning and it's up to you.' "Now ordinarily I'm the last to buck at any assignment, but I'd seen a fellow dislocate his jaw once on some of the vocabulary of that game, so I sparred for wind. "'I don't know anything about it,' says I. "'Neither does anyone else,' says he. "'Do the players?' I asks him. "'Damfino!' he came back at me. 'Ask 'em. That's what you're for.' "So behold your Uncle Mike, Dick, about nine the next morning looping the links. I had done a fuss stunt and was got up regardless. Had one of those long cutaways that dallied with my ankles; they hadn't gone out in Gulf City. I saw a bunch of busy boys humped up around a dinky flag and started for 'em to ask 'em about it. One of 'em, I judged, was gettin' ready to whale a toad or somethin' with an umbrella handle. He'd hocked his hat and hadn't kept much more than his shirt on anyway; barrin' a pair of pants that had got elephant-tiss-siss-siss, or whatever you call it, and looked like they came off the pile way back in the happy hitherto. His shirt sleeves were rolled up and his arms were the color of sun-cured tobacco, or the mud pies that sister used to bake. Oh, he was a beam-baked child of nature all right. Well, he sees me comin' toward him, and straightens up and gives me the cold storage stare. "'Here, you!' he yells, 'I can't drive over you!' "'No, you bet you can't!' I yells back. 'Ain't it scandalous you can't? Why can't you? Did you hock the horse along with the hat? Here, go buy yourself a new one of both!' and I tosses him a dime. "They didn't say anything but it grew kind o' chilly, so I turns up my coat collar and wanders along and by and by I came to the club house. "It was gorgeous enough around there, looked like the short end at the surrender of Yorktown. My fuss stunt looked like mourning in that color scheme. I drifted around, feelin' lonesome and like a drab tassel on a red fringe. It was a new one on me, but by and by I got a look-in on the pools. They had a set of cards tacked on the board. "There was a big geezer in a sunrise coat goin' by just then. I annexed him. 'What's those?' I asked him, pointin' to the cards. "'Why, the scores, of course,' says he, tryin' to jerk away.