Still the smile remained. She added:
"Very rarely an American comes. We are fond of America in Russia."
He wanted hours more. He could have talked the night away. Yet there
was something in his very passion to remain with her that forced him to
rise, that long training that makes a man skeptical and impatient of the
thing he wants most for himself.
She brought a candle and led the way to an inner room.
"Is there anything I can do for him to-night?" Romney asked, pointing to
the forward room.
"No, there is a cot there. When he finds himself in darkness, he will
feel his way to that. You will hear his fingers on the wall—but do not
mind."
She swung open the single window of the little room. The stone-work was
barred. She left him, but did not shut the door.
He stood waiting in the centre. There was just a cot with blankets and
a table at the head, upon which the candle sat in solitude. He thought
of his travel-bags just then, but she was bringing them and he hastened
to the door, for they were heavy and the camel-reek was upon them. She
left him again for a pitcher of water and a cup, very pleasing and
graceful in her services.
"And now is there not something I can do for you?" he said.
"No—unless—" She laughed.
"Yes?"
"Unless you think of me sleeping like a little child, my face turned
toward to-morrow—"
She was gone. Still she had not shut his door.
It was all a kind of blur to Romney until he lay down. Then the picture
straightened and steadied. Could it be that he, Romney, had hypnotised
himself—so that the first possible woman had fallen straight into his
heart? He had reached the period of life when a man begins consciously
to look for his woman. Does not such a search make the man blind? One
cannot see clearly so long as he doesn’t want anything. Was he so
shallow and common as to be caught in a whirlwind of the artificial? It
was not that he lowered Anna Erivan in this thought, but could she be
the one woman in the world for him?
Then he thought of her from the first moment to the last, reviewed her
every gesture and movement of face and hand. It was not what she said,
though there was much in that for him, but her comprehension was so
instantaneous. She had _fancy_. She loved the half-lights; she had
passion; the whole strength of her had to do with that. Was her
strength the strength of repression? She had beauty, but was it the
kind of beauty that goes with terrible self-love? ... She seemed tender
and brave and imaginative.
Romney sat up on the cot with a suddenness that made the whole fabric
creak. And what of his task? The possibility of his penetrating to the
heart of the great Gobi mystery seemed far and intolerable compared to
the next morning, when she would come into the outer room.... Would she
be there first and he emerge to join her, or would he be waiting?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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