Letters -- Fiction; Postal service -- Fiction; Science fiction; Short stories
Krumbine nodded. "With all those villains lurking just outside the
Solar System in their invisible black ships, with planeticide in their
hearts, we can't be too careful. One word transmitted from one spy to
another and anything may happen. And we must bomb before they do, so
as to contain our losses. Better one city destroyed than a traitor
on the loose who may destroy many cities. One hundred years ago,
three person-to-person postcards went through the mails--just three
postcards, Potshelter!--and _pft_ went Schenectady, Hoboken, Cicero,
and Walla Walla. Here, as long as you're mixing them, try one of these
oval blues--I find them best for steady swallowing."
Bells jangled. Krumbine grabbed up two phones, holding one to each ear.
Potshelter automatically picked up a third. The ringing continued.
Krumbine started to wedge one of his phones under his chin, nodded
sharply at Potshelter and then toward a cluster of microphones at the
end of the table. Potshelter picked up a fourth phone from behind them.
The ringing stopped.
The two men listened, looking doped, Krumbine with an eye fixed on
the sweep second hand of the large wall clock. When it had made one
revolution, he cradled his phones. Potshelter followed suit.
"I do like the simplicity of the new on-the-hour Puffyloaf
phono-commercial," the latter remarked thoughtfully. "The Bread That's
Lighter Than Air. Nice."
Krumbine nodded. "I hear they've had to add mass to the leadfoil
wrapping to keep the loaves from floating off the shelves. Fact."
* * * * *
He cleared his throat. "Too bad we can't listen to more
phono-commercials, but even when there isn't a crisis on the agenda, I
find I have to budget my listening time. One minute per hour strikes a
reasonable balance between duty and self-indulgence."
The nearest wall began to sing:
Mister J. Augustus Krumbine,
We all think you're fine, fine, fine, fine.
Now out of the skyey blue
Come some telegrams for you.
The wall opened to a small heart shape toward the center and a sheaf of
pale yellow envelopes arced out and plopped on the middle of the desk.
Krumbine started to leaf through them, scanning the little transparent
windows.
"Hm, Electronic Soap ... Better Homes and Landing Platforms ...
Psycho-Blinkers ... Your Girl Next Door ... Poppy-Woppies ...
Poopsy-Woopsies...."
He started to open an envelope, then, after a quick look around and an
apologetic smile at Potshelter, dumped them all on the disposal hopper,
which gargled briefly.
"After all, there _is_ a crisis this morning," he said in a defensive
voice.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account