End of the world -- Fiction; Epidemics -- Fiction; Science fiction; Twenty-first century -- Fiction
Is there such a feeling as love at first sight? And if there be, in
what does its nature differ from love founded in long observation and
slow growth? Perhaps its effects are not so permanent; but they are,
while they last, as violent and intense. We walk the pathless mazes of
society, vacant of joy, till we hold this clue, leading us through that
labyrinth to paradise. Our nature dim, like to an unlighted torch,
sleeps in formless blank till the fire attain it; this life of life,
this light to moon, and glory to the sun. What does it matter, whether
the fire be struck from flint and steel, nourished with care into a
flame, slowly communicated to the dark wick, or whether swiftly the
radiant power of light and warmth passes from a kindred power, and
shines at once the beacon and the hope. In the deepest fountain of my
heart the pulses were stirred; around, above, beneath, the clinging
Memory as a cloak enwrapt me. In no one moment of coming time did I
feel as I had done in time gone by. The spirit of Idris hovered in the
air I breathed; her eyes were ever and for ever bent on mine; her
remembered smile blinded my faint gaze, and caused me to walk as one,
not in eclipse, not in darkness and vacancy—but in a new and brilliant
light, too novel, too dazzling for my human senses. On every leaf, on
every small division of the universe, (as on the hyacinth ας is
engraved) was imprinted the talisman of my existence—SHE LIVES! SHE IS!
—I had not time yet to analyze my feeling, to take myself to task, and
leash in the tameless passion; all was one idea, one feeling, one
knowledge —it was my life!
But the die was cast—Raymond would marry Idris. The merry marriage
bells rung in my ears; I heard the nation’s gratulation which followed
the union; the ambitious noble uprose with swift eagle-flight, from the
lowly ground to regal supremacy—and to the love of Idris. Yet, not so!
She did not love him; she had called me her friend; she had smiled on
me; to me she had entrusted her heart’s dearest hope, the welfare of
Adrian. This reflection thawed my congealing blood, and again the tide
of life and love flowed impetuously onward, again to ebb as my busy
thoughts changed.
The debate had ended at three in the morning. My soul was in tumults; I
traversed the streets with eager rapidity. Truly, I was mad that night—
love—which I have named a giant from its birth, wrestled with despair!
My heart, the field of combat, was wounded by the iron heel of the one,
watered by the gushing tears of the other. Day, hateful to me, dawned;
I retreated to my lodgings—I threw myself on a couch—I slept—was it
sleep?—for thought was still alive—love and despair struggled still,
and I writhed with unendurable pain.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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