The Last Million: How They Invaded France—and EnglandHay, Ian
Philosophy
The Last Million: How They Invaded France—and England
Hay, Ian
World War, 1914-1918 -- United States
“Why did the English travel in closed boxes? Why were the locomotives so
small, and why did they burn soft coal? Why were there so many overhead
bridges when a grade-crossing would suffice? What would be the wages of
that old man working in that field? What was that bright yellow crop
growing in that section? Why did vehicles in a street keep to the left?
Was there any organized system of irrigation, that the country was all so
green? Was there game in those woods, and who had the right to hunt it?”
Norton, a professional soldier from his school days, knew nothing of many
of these things. He was also a typical Englishman, and had been brought
up to accept matters as he found them. But he was the son of an English
country squire, and he was able to name the various crops—meadow-grass,
hay-grass, wheat, oats, barley, potatoes, beans—whose variegated colours
impart to an English landscape its curious crazy-quilt effect. He was
well-versed, too, in agricultural economics and the hoary traditions of
the feudal system, and discussed voluminously, as an Englishman will when
started upon his own subject, upon farm-labourers’ wages, the rotation of
crops, and the Ground Game Act.
Floyd, who agreed with Dr. Samuel Johnson in regarding one green field
as very like another green field, recked nothing of these things. But he
was a mine of information on railroad management. To a deeply interested
audience he traced the origin of the standard railway gauge of the world
back to an obscure English colliery road of George Stephenson’s days:
he ascribed the multitude of overhead bridges and tightly locked level
crossings to the benevolent fussiness of the Board of Trade. He even
knew—to the frank amazement of Captain Norton—the maximum height from
rail-level to which a British locomotive, by reason of the aforesaid
bridges, can aspire—thus accounting for the stunted appearance of the
same by comparison with its American brother, which in an atmosphere
of greater freedom is permitted to soar some nine feet higher. Greatly
daring, he even justified the British custom of keeping to the left, on
the ground that it dated back to the days when men rode on horseback, and
riders and postilions, to mount or dismount, must perforce draw in to the
near side of the road.
An American is forever battling between two instincts—native appreciation
of what is modern and efficient, and inherited veneration for what is
ancient and inconvenient. Common sense usually compels him to favour the
former; but he is never so happy as when he can conserve or justify the
latter.
Major Floyd gratified this instinct. He carried his hearers back to
the days of stage-coaches. He told of the opening of the Stockton and
Darlington Railway; of Brunel and the Broad Gauge; of the railway races
in the nineties, when the Scottish Express ran four hundred miles in
seven hours. Altogether, in his able hands, “Romance brought up the Nine
Fifteen.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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