England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Married people -- Fiction; Mystery fiction
to do with the affair unless he revealed the whole truth about himself
to his future wife. He refused to listen to me, as he had refused to
listen to his mother; and he held me at the same time to my promise to
keep his secret. When Starkweather wrote to me, I had no choice but to
involve myself in a deception of which I thoroughly disapproved, or to
answer in a tone so guarded and so brief as to stop the correspondence
at the outset. I chose the last alternative; and I fear I have offended
my good old friend. You now see the painful position in which I am
placed. To add to the difficulties of that situation, Eustace came here
this very day to warn me to be on my guard, in case of your addressing
to me the very request which you have just made! He told me that you had
met with his mother, by an unlucky accident, and that you had discovered
the family name. He declared that he had traveled to London for the
express purpose of speaking to me personally on this serious subject.
‘I know your weakness,’ he said, ‘where women are concerned. Valeria is
aware that you are my old friend. She will certainly write to you; she
may even be bold enough to make her way into your house. Renew your
promise to keep the great calamity of my life a secret, on your honor
and on your oath. ‘Those were his words, as nearly as I can remember
them. I tried to treat the thing lightly; I ridiculed the absurdly
theatrical notion of ‘renewing my promise,’ and all the rest of it.
Quite useless! He refused to leave me; he reminded me of his unmerited
sufferings, poor fellow, in the past time. It ended in his bursting into
tears. You love him, and so do I. Can you wonder that I let him have his
way? The result is that I am doubly bound to tell you nothing, by the
most sacred promise that a man can give. My dear lady, I cordially side
with you in this matter; I long to relieve your anxieties. But what can
I do?”
He stopped, and waited--gravely waited--to hear my reply.
I had listened from beginning to end without interrupting him. The
extraordinary change in his manner, and in his way of expressing
himself, while he was speaking of Eustace, alarmed me as nothing had
alarmed me yet. How terrible (I thought to myself) must this untold
story be, if the mere act of referring to it makes light-hearted Major
Fitz-David speak seriously and sadly, never smiling, never paying me a
compliment, never even noticing the singing upstairs! My heart sank in
me as I drew that startling conclusion. For the first time since I had
entered the house I was at the end of my resources; I knew neither what
to say nor what to do next.
And yet I kept my seat. Never had the resolution to discover what my
husband was hiding from me been more firmly rooted in my mind than it
was at that moment! I cannot account for the extraordinary inconsistency
in my character which this confession implies. I can only describe the
facts as they really were.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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