The Lazy Tour of Two Idle Apprentices — John Shaqi
The Lazy Tour of Two Idle ApprenticesDickens, Charles
General
The Lazy Tour of Two Idle Apprentices
Dickens, Charles
Apprentices -- Fiction; Cumbria (England) -- Description and travel -- Fiction; Walking -- England -- Cumbria -- Fiction
It was the fifth from London, so far had they penetrated into the North.
Submitting to the powerful chain of argument, Goodchild proposed a return
to the Metropolis, and a falling back upon Euston Square Terminus.
Thomas assented with alacrity, and so they walked down into the North by
the next morning’s express, and carried their knapsacks in the
luggage-van.
It was like all other expresses, as every express is and must be. It
bore through the harvest country a smell like a large washing-day, and a
sharp issue of steam as from a huge brazen tea-urn. The greatest power
in nature and art combined, it yet glided over dangerous heights in the
sight of people looking up from fields and roads, as smoothly and
unreally as a light miniature plaything. Now, the engine shrieked in
hysterics of such intensity, that it seemed desirable that the men who
had her in charge should hold her feet, slap her hands, and bring her to;
now, burrowed into tunnels with a stubborn and undemonstrative energy so
confusing that the train seemed to be flying back into leagues of
darkness. Here, were station after station, swallowed up by the express
without stopping; here, stations where it fired itself in like a volley
of cannon-balls, swooped away four country-people with nosegays, and
three men of business with portmanteaus, and fired itself off again,
bang, bang, bang! At long intervals were uncomfortable
refreshment-rooms, made more uncomfortable by the scorn of Beauty towards
Beast, the public (but to whom she never relented, as Beauty did in the
story, towards the other Beast), and where sensitive stomachs were fed,
with a contemptuous sharpness occasioning indigestion. Here, again, were
stations with nothing going but a bell, and wonderful wooden razors set
aloft on great posts, shaving the air. In these fields, the horses,
sheep, and cattle were well used to the thundering meteor, and didn’t
mind; in those, they were all set scampering together, and a herd of pigs
scoured after them. The pastoral country darkened, became coaly, became
smoky, became infernal, got better, got worse, improved again, grew
rugged, turned romantic; was a wood, a stream, a chain of hills, a gorge,
a moor, a cathedral town, a fortified place, a waste. Now, miserable
black dwellings, a black canal, and sick black towers of chimneys; now, a
trim garden, where the flowers were bright and fair; now, a wilderness of
hideous altars all a-blaze; now, the water meadows with their fairy
rings; now, the mangy patch of unlet building ground outside the stagnant
town, with the larger ring where the Circus was last week. The
temperature changed, the dialect changed, the people changed, faces got
sharper, manner got shorter, eyes got shrewder and harder; yet all so
quickly, that the spruce guard in the London uniform and silver lace, had
not yet rumpled his shirt-collar, delivered half the dispatches in his
shiny little pouch, or read his newspaper.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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