The Lazy Tour of Two Idle ApprenticesDickens, Charles
General
The Lazy Tour of Two Idle Apprentices
Dickens, Charles
Apprentices -- Fiction; Cumbria (England) -- Description and travel -- Fiction; Walking -- England -- Cumbria -- Fiction
It was a gallant sight to behold, the Sunday procession of the Lancaster
elders to Church—all in black, and looking fearfully like a funeral
without the Body—under the escort of Three Beadles.
‘Think,’ said Francis, as he stood at the Inn window, admiring, ‘of being
taken to the sacred edifice by three Beadles! I have, in my early time,
been taken out of it by one Beadle; but, to be taken into it by three, O
Thomas, is a distinction I shall never enjoy!’
CHAPTER IV
WHEN Mr. Goodchild had looked out of the Lancaster Inn window for two
hours on end, with great perseverance, he begun to entertain a misgiving
that he was growing industrious. He therefore set himself next, to
explore the country from the tops of all the steep hills in the
neighbourhood.
He came back at dinner-time, red and glowing, to tell Thomas Idle what he
had seen. Thomas, on his back reading, listened with great composure,
and asked him whether he really had gone up those hills, and bothered
himself with those views, and walked all those miles?
‘Because I want to know,’ added Thomas, ‘what you would say of it, if you
were obliged to do it?’
‘It would be different, then,’ said Francis. ‘It would be work, then;
now, it’s play.’
‘Play!’ replied Thomas Idle, utterly repudiating the reply. ‘Play! Here
is a man goes systematically tearing himself to pieces, and putting
himself through an incessant course of training, as if he were always
under articles to fight a match for the champion’s belt, and he calls it
Play! Play!’ exclaimed Thomas Idle, scornfully contemplating his one
boot in the air. ‘You _can’t_ play. You don’t know what it is. You
make work of everything.’
The bright Goodchild amiably smiled.
‘So you do,’ said Thomas. ‘I mean it. To me you are an absolutely
terrible fellow. You do nothing like another man. Where another fellow
would fall into a footbath of action or emotion, you fall into a mine.
Where any other fellow would be a painted butterfly, you are a fiery
dragon. Where another man would stake a sixpence, you stake your
existence. If you were to go up in a balloon, you would make for Heaven;
and if you were to dive into the depths of the earth, nothing short of
the other place would content you. What a fellow you are, Francis!’ The
cheerful Goodchild laughed.
‘It’s all very well to laugh, but I wonder you don’t feel it to be
serious,’ said Idle. ‘A man who can do nothing by halves appears to me
to be a fearful man.’
‘Tom, Tom,’ returned Goodchild, ‘if I can do nothing by halves, and be
nothing by halves, it’s pretty clear that you must take me as a whole,
and make the best of me.’
With this philosophical rejoinder, the airy Goodchild clapped Mr. Idle on
the shoulder in a final manner, and they sat down to dinner.
‘By-the-by,’ said Goodchild, ‘I have been over a lunatic asylum too,
since I have been out.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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