The Lazy Tour of Two Idle ApprenticesDickens, Charles
General
The Lazy Tour of Two Idle Apprentices
Dickens, Charles
Apprentices -- Fiction; Cumbria (England) -- Description and travel -- Fiction; Walking -- England -- Cumbria -- Fiction
‘I will let you get anything you like, including a composing draught for
yourself,’ said Thomas, irritably alluding to his fellow-apprentice’s
inexhaustible activity, ‘if you will only sit quiet for five minutes
longer, and hear me out. I say again the horse is a betrayer of the
confidence reposed in him; and that opinion, let me add, is drawn from my
own personal experience, and is not based on any fanciful theory
whatever. You shall have two instances, two overwhelming instances. Let
me start the first of these by asking, what is the distinguishing quality
which the Shetland Pony has arrogated to himself, and is still
perpetually trumpeting through the world by means of popular report and
books on Natural History? I see the answer in your face: it is the
quality of being Sure-Footed. He professes to have other virtues, such
as hardiness and strength, which you may discover on trial; but the one
thing which he insists on your believing, when you get on his back, is
that he may be safely depended on not to tumble down with you. Very
good. Some years ago, I was in Shetland with a party of friends. They
insisted on taking me with them to the top of a precipice that overhung
the sea. It was a great distance off, but they all determined to walk to
it except me. I was wiser then than I was with you at Carrock, and I
determined to be carried to the precipice. There was no carriage-road in
the island, and nobody offered (in consequence, as I suppose, of the
imperfectly-civilised state of the country) to bring me a sedan-chair,
which is naturally what I should have liked best. A Shetland pony was
produced instead. I remembered my Natural History, I recalled popular
report, and I got on the little beast’s back, as any other man would have
done in my position, placing implicit confidence in the sureness of his
feet. And how did he repay that confidence? Brother Francis, carry your
mind on from morning to noon. Picture to yourself a howling wilderness
of grass and bog, bounded by low stony hills. Pick out one particular
spot in that imaginary scene, and sketch me in it, with outstretched
arms, curved back, and heels in the air, plunging headforemost into a
black patch of water and mud. Place just behind me the legs, the body,
and the head of a sure-footed Shetland pony, all stretched flat on the
ground, and you will have produced an accurate representation of a very
lamentable fact. And the moral device, Francis, of this picture will be
to testify that when gentlemen put confidence in the legs of Shetland
ponies, they will find to their cost that they are leaning on nothing but
broken reeds. There is my first instance—and what have you got to say to
that?’
‘Nothing, but that I want my hat,’ answered Goodchild, starting up and
walking restlessly about the room.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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