Poor -- New York (State) -- New York; Social settlements
The mental attitude of this mother is by no means unusual. It is a common
thing to find mothers who insist on controlling the wages of daughters who
make no exactions in regard to the wages of sons. The effect is to lessen
the self-respect of the girls and the sense of personal responsibility of
the boys. In the family referred to the experiment of paying board to the
mother was watched carefully. It was a success. The effect on the girls was
positive. They developed a sense of personal responsibility; they grew more
dignified and more reliable; above all, they developed self-respect. The
fight was a hard one, but the moral victory was won. The brothers either
found work under men who were fair, or they learned to endure control and
discipline under a "boss," which was probably what they needed. The girls
grew to have a care for their father's and mother's appearance and bought
them clothes. Never as long as the mother lived did her feeling of her
resentment against working-girls' clubs die out.
After her death, the father and brothers agreed to pay one of the sisters
so much each week if she would stay home and keep the house. The sister did
it, though it meant hours of loneliness, and, from her point of view,
dependence. She had taken courses in cooking and sewing in the club; she
had listened to talks on sanitation and hygiene; she had learned the value
of money through the management of her own wages. She created for that
family a far better home than it had ever known under the shiftless,
thriftless management of an undisciplined mother.
The daughter was able to pay more rent from the money given to support the
house, and the pride and self-respect of the family were greatly increased
by the possession of a parlor, which was furnished on the installment plan
out of the weekly sum paid to the sister. The home became a social center
for the friends. The boys bring even their girl friends to their home,
because it possesses more attractions than any other place to which they
have access. A banjo lies on top of a piano--hired--and two of the boys
take music lessons. In a family of seven wage-earners, even though the
wages of each may be small, the combined income is large in proportion to
the standards of outlay, and secures more than comfort, if rightly managed.
In this family a home maintained at a social level is of greater importance
than clothes, and all work to keep it. Sacrifices are made to buy things
for the home by every member of the family. The sisters are to these
brothers the finest type of women, and no girl whom they meet quite comes
to their level. The sisters will never marry. The home, the father and
brothers fill their cup of interest. There is still a latent suspicion that
men are non-dependable, and they must be in a position to meet emergencies;
the unjust "boss" may appear at any time, and they may be needed. Their
brothers are a trust and must be guarded.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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