When the donkey began to feel the sting of the pepper, he cast his eye
backwards under his tail, endeavouring to discover the cause of the
unaccustomed heat. Thinking that it must be at the least some fiery
devil from hell, the donkey conceived the not unnatural desire to run
away and escape him; so he began to bray as loud as he could, and to
kick up his heels, and to shake the post with all his strength. At
the first shock, the tub hanging between the two poles tipped over,
and the holy water ran about over the tent and over those that were
inside. And soon the tent itself collapsed, covering with a dripping
mantle all those who were listening to the wondrous tale of St. Mary
of Egypt. And Ulenspiegel and his comrades could hear a mighty noise
issuing from beneath the tent, a noise of moaning and lamentation. For
the devout folk that were within began to accuse one another of having
overturned the tub, and presently grew red with rage, and fell upon
each other with many furious blows. The tent began to bulge here and
there above the frantic efforts of the combatants. And each time that
Ulenspiegel descried some rounded form outlined through the cloth of
the tent, he went and gave it a prick with a pin. This was the signal
for new and louder cries, and for fiercer and more general fisticuffs.
Ulenspiegel was delighted, and soon he was to become even more so,
when he saw the donkey begin to run away, dragging behind him tent,
tub, tent-posts and all, while the master of the tent, with his wife
and daughter, hung on behind the baggage. At last the donkey, being
able to go no farther, raised his nose in the air, and gave vent to
bray after bray, a music that only ceased at those moments when he
was looking back under his tail to see if the fire that still raged
there would not soon go out.
All this time, the devout assembly in the tent were still
a-fighting. But the two monks, without troubling at all about what
was going on inside, began to gather up the money that had fallen
from the collection-plate, and Ulenspiegel assisted them devotedly,
but not without some profit to himself....
XI
Now all this time that the vagabond son of the charcoal-burner was
growing up in merriment and mischief, the moody scion of His Sacred
Majesty the Emperor was vegetating like a weed in moody melancholy. The
Lords and Ladies of the Court used to watch him as he mouched along
the rooms and passages of the palace at Valladolid, a frail, pitiful
specimen of humanity, with legs that shook and scarce seemed able
to support the weight of the big head that was covered with stiff
blond hair.
He loved to haunt dark corridors, and he would stay sitting there
whole hours together, with his legs stretched out in front of him,
hoping that some valet or other might trip over them by mistake; then
he would have the fellow flogged; for he took pleasure in listening
to his cries under the lash. But he never laughed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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