Then, the vision of a ball-room came to torture him. He could see her
dressed in that delicate creation of French genius he had seen her wear
the memorable night at the Springs. The French know so deeply the subtle
art of draping a woman’s body to tempt the souls of men. How he cursed
them to-night! He could see her bare arms, white gleaming shoulders,
neck, and back, and round full bosom softly rising and falling with her
breathing, as she swept through a brilliant ball-room to the strains of
entrancing music.
He knew the dance was a social convention, of course. But its deep
Nature significance he knew also. He knew that it was as old as human
society, and full of a thousand subtle suggestions,--that it was the
actual touch of the human body, with rhythmic movement, set to the
passionate music of love. This music spoke in quivering melody what
the lips did not dare to say. This he knew was the deep secret of the
fascination of the dance for the boy and the girl, the man and the
woman. How he cursed it to-night!
His imagination leaped the centuries that separate us from the great
races of the past who scorned humbug and hypocrisy, and held their
dances in the deep shadows of great forests, without the draperies of
tailors. These men and women looked Nature in the face and were not
afraid, and did not try to apologise or lie about it. He felt humiliated
and betrayed.
He thought too of her wealth with a feeling of resentment and isolation.
Taken with this social nightmare it seemed to raise an impossible
barrier between them. He knew that in the terrible quarrel she had with
her father on their first clash, he had sworn if she disobeyed him to
disinherit her. She had answered him in bitter defiance. And yet time
often changes these noble visions of poverty and strenuous faith in high
ideals. Wealth and all its good things becomes with us at last habit.
And habit is life.
Could it be possible she had weakened in resolution of loyalty when
brought face to face with the actual breaking of the habits of a
lifetime? Might not the three forces combined, the habit of social
conventions, the habit of luxury, and the habit of obedience to a
masterful and lovable father, be sufficient to crush her love at
last? It seemed to him to-night, not only a possibility, but almost an
accomplished fact.
At one o’clock he went to bed and tried to sleep. He tossed for an hour.
His brain was on fire, and his imagination lit with its glare. He could
sweep the world with his vision in the silence and the darkness. Yes,
the world that is, and that which was, and is to come!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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