Authors -- Fiction; Mentoring of authors -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Young men -- Fiction
This was too much—he _was_ the mocking fiend. Paul turned from him with
a mere nod for good-night and the sense in a sore heart that he might
come back to him and his easy grace, his fine way of arranging things,
some time in the far future, but couldn’t fraternise with him now. It
was necessary to his soreness to believe for the hour in the intensity of
his grievance—all the more cruel for its not being a legal one. It was
doubtless in the attitude of hugging this wrong that he descended the
stairs without taking leave of Miss Fancourt, who hadn’t been in view at
the moment he quitted the room. He was glad to get out into the honest
dusky unsophisticating night, to move fast, to take his way home on foot.
He walked a long time, going astray, paying no attention. He was
thinking of too many other things. His steps recovered their direction,
however, and at the end of an hour he found himself before his door in
the small inexpensive empty street. He lingered, questioning himself
still before going in, with nothing around and above him but moonless
blackness, a bad lamp or two and a few far-away dim stars. To these last
faint features he raised his eyes; he had been saying to himself that he
should have been “sold” indeed, diabolically sold, if now, on his new
foundation, at the end of a year, St. George were to put forth something
of his prime quality—something of the type of “Shadowmere” and finer than
his finest. Greatly as he admired his talent Paul literally hoped such
an incident wouldn’t occur; it seemed to him just then that he shouldn’t
be able to bear it. His late adviser’s words were still in his
ears—“You’re very strong, wonderfully strong.” Was he really? Certainly
he would have to be, and it might a little serve for revenge. _Is_ he?
the reader may ask in turn, if his interest has followed the perplexed
young man so far. The best answer to that perhaps is that he’s doing his
best, but that it’s too soon to say. When the new book came out in the
autumn Mr. and Mrs. St. George found it really magnificent. The former
still has published nothing but Paul doesn’t even yet feel safe. I may
say for him, however, that if this event were to occur he would really be
the very first to appreciate it: which is perhaps a proof that the Master
was essentially right and that Nature had dedicated him to intellectual,
not to personal passion.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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