"I wish--I could die," she said slowly.
"But what we have to do, is to live and act for others. Yes, it would
often seem a great deal easier to die; but we have something to do in the
world. You have something to do. Your mother's comfort, and even the
prolonging of her stay with us, may depend on your quietness and self-
command. For love of her, can you be strong and do it?"
"I am not strong--" said Rotha, as she had spoken before.
"Love makes people strong. And Jesus will help the weak, if they trust
him, to do anything they have to do."
"You know I am not a Christian," Rotha answered in the same matter-of-
fact way.
"Suppose you do not let that be true after to-day."
There was another silence.
"I am ready to go, Mr. Digby," Rotha said.
"And you will be a woman, and wise, and quiet?"
"I don't know!"
Mr. Digby thought it was not best to press matters further. He put Rotha
into the wagon again and drove back to the hotel. Quiet she was, at any
rate, now; he did not even see any more tears; but alas, of all the
things in the world which she had been so glad to look at on the way
down, she saw nothing on the way back. Driving or sailing, it was all the
same; only when Mr. Digby put her into the omnibus at Whitehall he saw a
flash of something like terror which crossed her face and left it
blanched. But that was all.
He went into the invalid's room at Mrs. Marble's with trepidation. Rotha
however was merely less effusive and more hasty than usual in her
greetings to her mother, and after a kiss or two turned away "to get her
things off," as she said. And when Mrs. Cord unluckily asked her in
passing, if she had had a pleasant day? Rotha choked, but managed to get
out that it had been "as good as it could be." What she went through in
the little hall room which served for closet and wardrobe, no one knew;
but Mr. Digby, who stayed purposely till she came back again, was
reassured to see that she was perfectly quiet, and that she set about her
wonted duties in a grave, collected way, more grave than usual, but quite
as methodical. He went away sighing, at the same time with a relieved
heart. One of the hard things he had had to do in his life, was over.
Mr. Digby however, as he walked homeward to his hotel, saw the
difficulties yet in store for him. How in the world was he to perform his
promise of taking care of this wildfire girl? Her aunt surely, would be
the fittest person to be intrusted with her. If he only knew what sort of
person Mrs. Busby really was, and how much of Mrs. Carpenter's story
might have two sides to it? The lady was not in the city, or he would
have been tempted to go and see her at once, for the purpose of studying
her and gathering information. Nothing of the kind was possible at
present; and he could only hope that Mrs. Carpenter's frail life would be
prolonged until her sister's return to New York would lift, or might
lift, one difficulty out of his path.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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