MY DEAR COUNTRYWOMAN,--I am so impatient to show you that I am once more
at peace with you, that I send you the book I mentioned, directly,
rather than wait the uncertain time of my seeing you. I am afraid I have
mislaid or lost Collins's Poems, which I promised to Miss Irvin. If I
can find them I will forward them by you; if not, you must apologise
for me.
I know you will laugh at it when I tell you that your piano and you
together have played the deuce somehow about my heart. My breast has
been widowed these many months, and I thought myself proof against the
fascinating witchcraft; but I am afraid you will "feelingly convince me
what I am.". I say, I am afraid, because I am not sure what is the
matter with me. I have one miserable bad symptom,--when you whisper, or
look kindly to another, it gives me a draught of damnation. I have a
kind of wayward wish to be with you ten minutes by yourself, though what
I would say, Heaven above knows, for I am sure I know not. I have no
formed design in all this; but just, in the nakedness of my heart, write
you down a mere matter-of-fact story. You may perhaps give yourself airs
of distance on this, and that will completely cure me; but I wish you
would not; just let us meet, if you please, in the old beaten way of
friendship.
I will not subscribe myself your humble servant, for that is a phrase, I
think, at least fifty miles off from the heart; but I will conclude with
sincerely wishing that the Great Protector of innocence may shield you
from the barbed dart of calumny, and hand you by the covert snare of
deceit. R. B.
[Footnote 9: Lady unidentified.]
* * * * *
XV.--TO MR. JOHN RICHMOND, LAW CLERK, EDINBURGH.[10]
MOSSGIEL, _Feb. 17th_, 1786.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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