"'Why, they have taken that telephone out since four o'clock yesterday afternoon. In America it would have required several days.' "'Oh, you're joking,' he laughed; 'they couldn't have taken it out since then, you know.' "'But they have,' I said, boldly, making a noise like the pater. 'I called them up myself at that time yesterday.' "Then he rang the central office again. 'I say, miss, the gentleman is really positive that Crecy & Brown have a telephone, you know.' "Some more minutes passed by, and again the clerk said, 'Oh, thank you very kindly,' and he put the receiver back. "'They have no telephone,' he said. "'There you are,' I cried, 'it has been taken out since four o'clock yesterday afternoon. It's simply wonderful!' "'You Americans are such bally jokers,' the clerk said. 'They really couldn't have done that, you know.' "'But they have! I still insist.' "Then the Englishman went into a trance for a moment. 'I believe you think they have a telephone, after all,' he declared. "'I really do,' I admitted. "'Well, we'll soon find out,' the clerk cried, with an awful burst of speed, striking a bell upon his desk. "'George,' he said to the boy, 'run around to Crecy & Brown's, will you, and see if they have a telephone.' "I sat there for twenty minutes, discussing the weather, the Derby winner, and all the other favorite English subjects before the boy came back. "'Yes, sir,' the boy reported, 'Crecy & Brown have a telephone, sir. Their number is 485 Gerard, sir.' "The clerk got me the number this time, and I did fairly well. Then I sat down. "'Did you want to call another number?' he asked me. "'No, not two in the same day,' I said; 'but over in America we always pass out something to the operator when she gives us wrong information like that--just for the good of the service.' "'I suppose I ought to reprimand her,' the clerk admitted--'call her down, as you would say.' "'If you don't, I will,' I told him. "'Oh, I had much better do it,' he replied, hastily, taking the receiver in his hand. "'I say, miss,' he chirped, 'that number you just gave me, 485 Gerard, _is_ Crecy & Brown, you know, the one you said had no telephone. Rather a good joke on you, isn't it, miss?' Then he slammed the receiver on its hook. "'There!' he said, 'I think that will hold her for a while, as you say in your country!' "Wouldn't you think that would have just mortified her to death?" Alice laughed. "If you were ambassador to England, Allen, you could change all that. Perhaps that's the niche for you, after all." "What's a 'niche'?" demanded Patricia, taking advantage of the first opportunity to join in the conversation. "What do you think it is, dear?" Mrs. Gorham asked, smiling. "I think an itch is an awful feeling; why do you want him to have that?" Patricia replied, sinking into obscurity at the laugh which her definition evoked.