The captain, who was made desperate by his danger, resolving to clear
the ship of his enemies, tried us all, and we were all condemned to die.
The manner of his process I was too young to take notice of; but the
purser and one of the gunners were hanged immediately, and I expected it
with the rest. I do not remember any great concern I was under about it,
only that I cried very much, for I knew little then of this world, and
nothing at all of the next.
However, the captain contented himself with executing these two, and
some of the rest, upon their humble submission and promise of future
good behaviour, were pardoned; but five were ordered to be set on shore
on the island and left there, of which I was one. My master used all his
interest with the captain to have me excused, but could not obtain it;
for somebody having told him that I was one of them who was singled out
to have killed him, when my master desired I might not be set on shore,
the captain told him I should stay on board if he desired it, but then
I should be hanged, so he might choose for me which he thought best. The
captain, it seems, was particularly provoked at my being concerned in
the treachery, because of his having been so kind to me, and of his
having singled me out to serve him, as I have said above; and this,
perhaps, obliged him to give my master such a rough choice, either
to set me on shore or to have me hanged on board. And had my master,
indeed, known what good-will I had for him, he would not have been long
in choosing for me; for I had certainly determined to do him a mischief
the first opportunity I had for it. This was, therefore, a good
providence for me to keep me from dipping my hands in blood, and it made
me more tender afterwards in matters of blood than I believe I should
otherwise have been. But as to my being one of them that was to kill
the captain, that I was wronged in, for I was not the person, but it was
really one of them that were pardoned, he having the good luck not to
have that part discovered.
I was now to enter upon a part of independent life, a thing I was indeed
very ill prepared to manage, for I was perfectly loose and dissolute
in my behaviour, bold and wicked while I was under government, and now
perfectly unfit to be trusted with liberty, for I was as ripe for any
villainy as a young fellow that had no solid thought ever placed in his
mind could be supposed to be. Education, as you have heard, I had none;
and all the little scenes of life I had passed through had been full
of dangers and desperate circumstances; but I was either so young or so
stupid, that I escaped the grief and anxiety of them, for want of having
a sense of their tendency and consequences.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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