"On turning to depart, my companion reminded me that it was customary on such occasions for all distinguished persons to present each of the artless young ladies with a golden dollar, which they preserved as a fund, intending, when it became sufficiently large, to start a 'Journal of Civilization,' in which the literature of other lands was to be much improved for the benefit of this. The 'Journal of Civilization' was not to be considered a reflex of free brains, but rather as a reflex of free stealing, which was to be advocated at great length in its columns. Its general department would, my companion told me, be devoted to the histories of great historians, commencing with Jacob Abbot and ending with Peter Parley. Of its politics not much was to be said, seeing that they were written by my learned friend, Doctor Easley, author and compiler of 'The Polite Speech Maker,' and ought never to be taken as meaning what they said. Sharpeye and Scissors were to be honored with the post of general editors; and the musical department, which it was intended should be strong enough to drown all weak instruments, had been consigned to three magnificent harpers, who were capable of climbing a gamut of any number of notes. Neither had tuned their harps very extensively to home literature, the love they bore it being of the chastest kind; and though they were capable of conferring princely endowments upon it, they had turned a deaf ear to all its cries and distresses. "Not seeing the enlarged benefits that were to flow from this Journal of Prospective Civilization, nor having any great faith in the quality of civilization stolen literature would confer upon a nation, I preferred to distinguish my generosity by a more national and less tricky example. This, I observed, did not give satisfaction to the damsels, who turned away with a look of contempt, and no doubt to this day entertain a very poor opinion of me.