"A good idea, Kate--and I will follow it. When I want to speak of the throne of Venus I will use the word 'Con.' When I refer to man's organ I will say 'Vit'--the buttocks I will call the 'Fesses' and 'Cul' indiscriminately. I warn you beforehand, some phrases I shall express entirely in French as they cannot be translated without offending American ears. Besides which I love to speak of matters of which I believe you are ignorant; for I am free to confess there is no greater rake than myself." We placed ourselves in listening posture, he with a hand placed over each of our mounts, he then commenced his history in the terms which will be found in the next chapter. Chapter V HERBERT CLARENCE'S HISTORY "I was born at Temperanceville, a village in the interior of the state of New York. My father was a rich man, and the house in which we lived was a fine mansion, beautifully situated in the midst of a grove of trees. Up to the age of sixteen, nothing occurred worthy of note. Since the time I was eight years of age my father had employed a private tutor to instruct me--but he was a very easy man and allowed me to slight my lessons with impunity; the consequence was that at sixteen I was, comparatively speaking, ignorant. One day my father asked me to write a note for him, and when I handed it to him he was shocked at the numerous mistakes in orthography and composition, and forthwith decided that I must be sent to school. My tutor was dismissed and the very next week I was sent to a large boarding-school in Brooklyn, kept by a Mr. Ames. "I soon felt at home in my new position and liked the change very much, making rapid progress in my studies. I was one of the biggest boys in the school, and having, in more than one instance, proved my courage, I was spared much annoyance from the other boys, who although they might surpass me in learning were not my masters in fisticuffs. "A year passed in this manner, and during that period I almost recovered the time lost in my early education. I was a favorite, both with the boys and the principal of the school, and the days passed very pleasantly until an event occurred which changed the entire tenor of my existence.