The Life and Death of Doctor Faustus Made into a Farce — John Shaqi
The Life and Death of Doctor Faustus Made into a FarceMarlowe, Christopher
General
The Life and Death of Doctor Faustus Made into a Farce
Marlowe, Christopher
Faust, -approximately 1540 -- Drama
_Scar._ Come, let's sit down.
_The upper part of the Giant flies up, and the under sinks, and
discovers a Woman in the Room._
Harlequin _and_ Scaramouche _start_.
_Scar._ Ha! What's here, a Woman?
_Har._ O happy Change! Madam, with your good Leave.
[_Kisses._
_Scar._ Never too late in good Breeding. [_Kisses._] Rare Wench! And as
Luscious as Pig-sauce.
_Har._ Heav'n be prais'd for all.
[_Woman sinks, a Flash of Lightning._
_Scar._ Your unseasonable Thankfulness has rob'd us of our Strumpet.
_Har._ No matter, no matter; we shall meet her in the Cloisters after
the Fair. Come let's fall too.
[_They put their Caps before their Faces._
Ha!
_Scar._ The Table runs away from us.
_Har._ We'll bestow the Pains to follow it again; this I see is a
running Banquet.
[_They put their Caps on again, the Table removes._
_Scar._ I have found the Secret: We must not say Grace at the Devil's
Feast.
_Har._ Come then let's fall too, _San's_ Ceremony; Will you be Carver?
_Scar._ Every one for himself, I say.
_Har._ Ay, every one for himself, and God for us all.
[_Table flies up into the Air._
_Scar._ A Plague o'your Proverb; it has a Word in't must not be named.
_Har._ Ah, Mr. Doctor, do but intreat Mr. _Mephostopholis_ to let the
Table down to us, or send us to that, and I'll be his Servant as long as
I live. [_They are hoisted up to the Table._
_Scar. and Har._ Oh, oh, oh.
_Scar._ Now have a care of another Proverb: We go without our Supper.
_Har._ Nay, now I know the Devil's Humour, I'll hit him to a Hair: Pray,
Mr. Doctor, cut up that Pasty.
_Scar._ I can't get my Knife into it, 'tis over-bak'd.
_Har._ Ay, 'tis often so: God sends Meat, and the Devil sends Cooks.
[_Table flies down._
_Scar._ Thou Varlet, dost thou see what thy Proverb has done?
_Har._ Now could I curse my Grand-mother, for she taught 'em me: Well,
if sweet _Mephostopholis_ will be so kind as but to let us and the Table
come together again, I'll promise never to say Grace, or speak Proverb
more, as long as I live.
[_They are let down to the Table._
_Scar._ Your Prayers are heard, now be careful; for if I lose my Supper
by thy Negligence I'll cut thy Throat.
_Har._ Do, and eat me when you have done. I am damnably hungry; I'll cut
open this Pasty, while you open that Pot of wild Fowl.
[Harlequin _takes off the Lid of the Pasty, and a Stag's Head peeps out;
and out of the Pot of Fowl flies Birds_. Harlequin _and_ Scaramouche
_start back, fall over their Chairs, and get up_.
_Har._ Here's the Nest but the Birds are flown: Here's Wine though, and
now I'll conjure for a Supper. I have a Sallad within of my own
Gathering in the Fields to Day.
_Scar._ Fetch it in; Bread, Wine, and a Salad may serve for a
Collation.
_Enter_ Harlequin _with a Tray of Sallad_.
_Har._ Come, no Ceremony among Friends. _Bon. fro._
_Scar._ _Sallad mal adjuste_; here's neither Fat nor Lean.
_Har._ O Mr. Doctor, neither Fat nor Lean in a Sallad.
_Scar._ Neither Oyl, nor Vinegar.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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