I have ordered, answered my father, the old midwife to come down to us
upon the least difficulty; --for you must know, Dr. _Slop_, continued my
father, with a perplexed kind of a smile upon his countenance, that by
express treaty, solemnly ratified between me and my wife, you are no
more than an auxiliary in this affair, --and not so much as that,
--unless the lean old mother of a midwife above stairs cannot do without
you. --Women have their particular fancies, and in points of this
nature, continued my father, where they bear the whole burden, and
suffer so much acute pain for the advantage of our families, and the
good of the species, --they claim a right of deciding, _en Souveraines_,
in whose hands, and in what fashion, they choose to undergo it.
They are in the right of it, ----quoth my uncle _Toby_. But, Sir,
replied Dr. _Slop_, not taking notice of my uncle _Toby’s_ opinion, but
turning to my father, --they had better govern in other points; ----and
a father of a family, who wishes its perpetuity, in my opinion, had
better exchange this prerogative with them, and give up some other
rights in lieu of it. ----I know not, quoth my father, answering a
little too testily, to be quite dispassionate in what he said, --I know
not, quoth he, what we have left to give up, in lieu of who shall bring
our children into the world, unless that, --of who shall beget them.
------One would almost give up anything, replied Dr. _Slop_. --I beg
your pardon, ----answered my uncle _Toby_. --Sir, replied Dr. _Slop_, it
would astonish you to know what improvements we have made of late years
in all branches of obstetrical knowledge, but particularly in that one
single point of the safe and expeditious extraction of the _fœtus_,
----which has received such lights, that, for my part (holding up his
hands) I declare I wonder how the world has ----I wish, quoth my uncle
_Toby_, you had seen what prodigious armies we had in _Flanders_.
CHAPTER XIX
I have dropped the curtain over this scene for a minute, ----to remind
you of one thing, ----and to inform you of another.
What I have to inform you, comes, I own, a little out of its due course;
----for it should have been told a hundred and fifty pages ago, but that
I foresaw then ’twould come in pat hereafter, and be of more advantage
here than elsewhere. --Writers had need look before them, to keep up the
spirit and connection of what they have in hand.
When these two things are done, --the curtain shall be drawn up again,
and my uncle _Toby_, my father, and Dr. _Slop_, shall go on with their
discourse, without any more interruption.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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