Or for example, as cleverly as our government has been turning upon its
hinges----(that is, in case things have all along gone well with your
worship, --otherwise I give up my simile)--in this case, I say, there
had been no danger either to master or man, in Corporal _Trim’s_ peeping
in: the moment he had beheld my father and my uncle _Toby_ fast
asleep--the respectfulness of his carriage was such, he would have
retired as silent as death, and left them both in their arm-chairs,
dreaming as happy as he had found them: but the thing was, morally
speaking, so very impracticable, that for the many years in which this
hinge was suffered to be out of order, and amongst the hourly grievances
my father submitted to upon its account--this was one; that he never
folded his arms to take his nap after dinner, but the thoughts of being
unavoidably awakened by the first person who should open the door, was
always uppermost in his imagination, and so incessantly stepp’d in
betwixt him and the first balmy presage of his repose, as to rob him, as
he often declared, of the whole sweets of it.
“_When things move upon bad hinges_, an’ please your lordships, _how can
it be otherwise?_”
Pray what’s the matter? Who is there? cried my father, waking, the
moment the door began to creak. ----I wish the smith would give a peep
at that confounded hinge. ----’Tis nothing, an’ please your honour, said
_Trim_, but two mortars I am bringing in. --They shan’t make a clatter
with them here, cried my father hastily. --If Dr. _Slop_ has any drugs
to pound, let him do it in the kitchen. --May it please your honour,
cried _Trim_, they are two mortar-pieces for a siege next summer, which
I have been making out of a pair of jack-boots, which _Obadiah_ told me
your honour had left off wearing. --By Heaven! cried my father,
springing out of his chair, as he swore ----I have not one appointment
belonging to me, which I set so much store by as I do by these
jack-boots----they were our great grandfather’s, brother _Toby_--they
were _hereditary_. Then I fear, quoth my uncle _Toby_, _Trim_ has cut
off the entail. --I have only cut off the tops, an’ please your honour,
cried _Trim_ ----I hate _perpetuities_ as much as any man alive, cried my
father----but these jack-boots, continued he (smiling, though very angry
at the same time) have been in the family, brother, ever since the civil
wars; ----Sir _Roger Shandy_ wore them at the battle of _Marston-Moor_.
--I declare I would not have taken ten pounds for them. ----I’ll pay you
the money, brother _Shandy_, quoth my uncle _Toby_, looking at the two
mortars with infinite pleasure, and putting his hand into his breeches
pocket as he viewed them ----I’ll pay you the ten pounds this moment
with all my heart and soul.----
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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