To my uncle Mr. _Toby Shandy_ do I stand indebted for the preceding
anecdote, to whom my father, who was an excellent natural philosopher,
and much given to close reasoning upon the smallest matters, had oft,
and heavily complained of the injury; but once more particularly, as my
uncle _Toby_ well remember’d, upon his observing a most unaccountable
obliquity (as he call’d it) in my manner of setting up my top, and
justifying the principles upon which I had done it, --the old gentleman
shook his head, and in a tone more expressive by half of sorrow than
reproach, --he said his heart all along foreboded, and he saw it
verified in this, and from a thousand other observations he had made
upon me, That I should neither think nor act like any other man’s child:
--_But alas!_ continued he, shaking his head a second time, and wiping
away a tear which was trickling down his cheeks, _My Tristram’s
misfortunes began nine months before ever he came into the world_.
--My mother, who was sitting by, look’d up, --but she knew no more than
her backside what my father meant, --but my uncle, Mr. _Toby Shandy_,
who had been often informed of the affair, --understood him very well.
CHAPTER IV
I know there are readers in the world, as well as many other good people
in it, who are no readers at all, who find themselves ill at ease,
unless they are let into the whole secret from first to last, of
everything which concerns you.
It is in pure compliance with this humour of theirs, and from a
backwardness in my nature to disappoint any one soul living, that I have
been so very particular already. As my life and opinions are likely to
make some noise in the world, and, if I conjecture right, will take in
all ranks, professions, and denominations of men whatever, --be no less
read than the _Pilgrim’s Progress_ itself--and in the end, prove the
very thing which _Montaigne_ dreaded his Essays should turn out, that
is, a book for a parlour-window; --I find it necessary to consult every
one a little in his turn; and therefore must beg pardon for going on a
little farther in the same way: For which cause, right glad I am, that I
have begun the history of myself in the way I have done; and that I am
able to go on, tracing everything in it, as _Horace_ says, _ab Ovo_.
_Horace_, I know, does not recommend this fashion altogether: But that
gentleman is speaking only of an epic poem or a tragedy; --(I forget
which), --besides, if it was not so, I should beg Mr. _Horace’s_ pardon;
--for in writing what I have set about, I shall confine myself neither
to his rules, nor to any man’s rules that ever lived.
To such, however, as do not choose to go so far back into these things,
I can give no better advice, than that they skip over the remaining part
of this chapter; for I declare before-hand, ’tis wrote only for the
curious and inquisitive.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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