What could I be doing that would as readily and as really forward my
aim? In what way could I as usefully devote my time and power?
I believe most earnestly that it is not to any one plan or scheme of
my own that I cling,—show me anything better for my work—show me
anything even that you yourself think as good for it (looking at it
only) and I am willing, renouncing every present thought, to take the
new into deep consideration, and trust to the guidance of the Light to
show me which is my appointed path.
But take the question by itself,—satisfy yourself whether you think I
have judged rightly, as at least I have striven to judge honestly,—
and, if you arrive at my own conclusion I think you will feel that
_that_ is the only important thing,—that if we are enabled to
‘perceive and know what things we ought to do’ we shall also surely be
given ‘power faithfully to fulfil the same.’
As I have said often before, if you and my Father ever need me at
home,—ever even desire my presence there,—I will relinquish for the
time everything to that which I am sure God would have me hold my
highest and dearest duty,—But I believe nothing else on earth must be
suffered to come between me and my work, and, please God, nothing
shall.
I see ‘my Father’s business’ clearly before me,—help me, Mother,
wholly to consecrate my life as I would wish, to it.
As to all questions of detail, I think, darling, you need not be
disturbed or anxious. Acting rightly, I am quite sure I shall be
always cared for far more than I deserve. I think you have, and may
have entire confidence in my practical common sense,—I think I have
already shown that I am not very likely to get into difficulties. You
have trusted me a great deal, Mother, have you had to repent it?
You may be sure that I shall strive my utmost to do wisely as well as
rightly—indeed the one cannot be without the other. I think, moreover,
you will be almost certainly satisfied with my plans and
arrangements,—I am sure I have ‘caution’ strongly developed. And,
though it may seem more new to you, I am very unlikely to find in my
new life as difficult circumstances as those in which I have already
had to act. I think that you may have confidence that I know you trust
me, and that I shall not fail your trust. I think you may believe that
I shall know and think of your wishes.
Then, as to any anxiety for myself. You have said much to me in the
trials of the last months which I would ask you to repeat to yourself.
You have told me to trust my darling in perfect faith to ‘Him who
keepeth Israel’ and whose love you tell me is deeper and truer than
mine. Can you not trust me to Him too?
I think there were some circumstances which there are not here, which
did not make it easier.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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