She certainly did her best to “hold out,” dragged herself out of bed,
and went downstairs looking like “_une déterrée_,” so Frl. v. Palaus
said. She refused to see the school doctor, believing that he would
prevent her going home, and also that he would insist upon her keeping
her window shut. For some reason unknown Frl. v. Palaus resolutely
declined to have an English doctor sent for, and so things went on for a
day or two till the patient agreed that the German doctor should be
allowed to say whether her throat was “of importance.” Whether he was
allowed adequate means of arriving at a diagnosis we have no means of
knowing. In any case his answer was in the negative. Two days later the
patient was obviously suffering from a sharp and typical attack of
scarlet fever.
It really was a blow, poor child! She was so longing for her Mother, “My
year’s work just done _so_ painfully,—and now my cruse snatched from my
lips. It is hard, _hard_! I didn’t one moment doubt it was right,—only
very hard.” Then like an audible voice came the reminder of the inner
light, and all pain went.
It does not necessarily follow that she proved a very easy patient,
though she tried hard to be reasonable, and even to keep her window shut
at night, which was quite unreasonable. The whole situation was
sufficiently trying for Frl. v. Palaus; and S. J.-B., although she and
her nurse became attached to each other, got little of the petting which
throughout life she so greatly valued when just the right person
bestowed it. Her Mother’s letters as usual were an infinite comfort, and
her Father was with difficulty prevented from sending out a London
physician to look after her, and, in due time, bring her home.
She made a good recovery, and was allowed to start for England on the
27th, when an English lady was engaged to accompany her. “Very like
getting out of purgatory into heaven,” she says. “The dear old folks!”
Her Father was nervous about infection, and, fortunately for him, a
trifling driving accident some four or five days after her return forced
her to consult “Sam Scott.” “He couldn’t swear me free of fever, but
said, ‘If you meet my children on the cliff, you may kiss them.’”
* * * * *
So S. J.-B. settled down once more to the old life at home, not without
occasional “cataracts and breaks,” for her Father did not advance with
the times, and hers was not the only hasty temper in the family. But she
never doubted that a definite work was in store for her somewhere.
Her diary is sometimes amusing reading. To an acquaintance who—after
visiting at Sussex Square and hearing the intimate fireside names—wrote
to her as “My dear Jack,” she replies,
“DEAR MISS D.,
Firstly I don’t like being called names, and secondly I have
been overwhelmingly busy,—which two reasons must excuse my not having
earlier sent you the address.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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