That the recognized work was in itself no sinecure may be gathered from
her report for the Michaelmas term. She has “good,” sometimes “very
good” reports in all her seven classes,—four of them being signed by F.
D. Maurice, E. H. Plumptre and R. C. Trench. The classes were
arithmetic, geometry and algebra, English language and composition,
French, history, natural philosophy and astronomy, theology, and church
history.
She was popular with her fellow-students, and particularly so with Miss
Agnes Wodehouse (afterwards Mrs. Williams) whom she greatly admired, and
of whom she made, incidentally, as profound a study as she did of her
Euclid and history. “How few ladies there are!” she concludes. “Agnes
Wodehouse is thorough. So is my Mother. Few else.” And again in this
connection, “I believe I love women too much ever to love a man. Yet who
can tell? Well, S. J.-B., don’t get sentimental, for patience’ sake.”
Unfortunately she was not so appreciative of one of the younger women
who was more or less in authority over her. The new student meant no
harm, but she took playful liberties, and no doubt, as formerly at
school, amused the other girls by her wit and audacity. After a good
deal of sparring and chaffing, things came to an _impasse_, and it was
judged better by all concerned that S. J.-B. should seek a home for
herself elsewhere. This was not an easy matter in those days when
hostels and homes of residence for women students were unknown; and so,
to the other work of her life, was added the toil of tramping about in
search of suitable quarters.
She made a number of unfortunate ventures, sampling experiences familiar
enough to the middle-class bachelor woman of the present day, though
somewhat staggering to the well-bred mid-Victorian girl. The bankrupt
householder, the drunken landlady, the undesirable male lodger, “and
other fauna,” formed part of the things that had to be taken—and were
taken most pluckily—in the day’s work. If S. J.-B. was instrumental in
bringing ill-fortune on herself—as was not infrequently the case—she
never sat down and howled,—she never even thought of giving in: she
simply put her shoulder to the wheel and went on with what she had been
doing. And so it was now, under very difficult conditions, for, once and
again, hopes were raised, hopes were dashed, and the weary struggle
began afresh,—with many bad headaches and occasional sore throats to
complicate matters.
“Quite an experience of troubles,” writes Mrs. Jex-Blake, “as much as if
you had lived many years. I think no one could have acted more wisely
than you have done”: and again, “I wish I were near, yet I don’t think I
could be a real help: it is not in my way.” And the same might have been
said by many other friends. Greater drawbacks were involved then than
now in leaving one’s own social groove.
“You have behaved very sensibly through the whole trial, which has not
been a light one,” says her Father.
In her diary she writes,—
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