I really believe as regards money I am honestly _quite contented_. I
wish for no more. And as this is, they say, a somewhat remarkable
fact, I specially note it down. Yet it sounds ludicrously tempting to
reply to myself, Contented! Shame on you if you were not, I think. Yet
for actual pocket money, I am horribly pinched just now,—only 9s. 9d.
till next quarter,—nearly four weeks hence.”
The reference to “tutor’s money” is interesting. She had not been two
months at College when she was asked to take the post of mathematical
tutor. The suggestion gave her great pleasure, and she broached the
subject to her parents when she next went home. Though startled, they
were on the whole pleased at the honour done her, but things assumed a
different aspect when her father realized the conditions on which the
tutorship was to be held.
The correspondence seems well worth quoting _in extenso_:
“Jan. 28th.
DEAREST, I have only this moment heard that you contemplate being
_paid_ for the tutorship. It would be quite beneath you, darling, and
I _cannot consent_ to it. Take the post as one of honour and
usefulness, and I shall be glad, and _you will be no loser_, be quite
sure. But to be _paid_ for the work would be to alter the thing
_completely_, and would lower you sadly in the eyes of almost
everybody. Do not think about it, dearest, and you will rejoice
greatly by and bye with all who love you best.”
A few days later he writes again:
“MY DEAR SOPHY,—and you are very dear to me—you have been much in my
thoughts, and I have been grieved to know that you have had so much
real harass, and were so _tried_ before you settled down in your
present peaceful domicile. Now all is well, I trust, and you in peace
and comfort, so, remembering the Appellant from Philip drunk to Philip
sober, make the application, giving me the benefit of it, and bear
with me, my own child, whilst I briefly tell you what I think and
hope. I heartily admire your readiness to turn your talents to good
account, and employ them in a way so clearly beneficial to others, but
believe me that if you take money payment, you will make a sad
mistake, debase your standing, and place yourself in a position that
people in general, including many relations and friends, will never
_as long as you live_ understand otherwise than as greatly to your
discredit. You would be considered mean and illiberal,—tho’ I am sure
you are neither the one or the other—accepting wages that belong to a
class beneath you in social rank, and which (it would be said) you had
no right, under any circumstances, to appropriate to yourself....”
The reply to this came by return of post:
“Feb. 3rd ’59.
MY OWN DARLING DADDY,
I got your kind old letter this morning, for which, thanks....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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