The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus, of the Order of Our Lady of Carmel — John Shaqi
The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus, of the Order of Our Lady of CarmelTeresa, of Avila, Saint
Religion
The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus, of the Order of Our Lady of Carmel
Teresa, of Avila, Saint
Avila (Spain) -- Biography; Christian saints -- Spain -- Avila -- Biography; Teresa, of Avila, Saint, 1515-1582
1. What I shall now speak of was, I believe, the beginning of
great harm to me. I often think how wrong it is of parents not
to be very careful that their children should always, and in
every way, see only that which is good; for though my mother was,
as I have just said, so good herself, nevertheless I, when I came
to the use of reason, did not derive so much good from her as I
ought to have done--almost none at all; and the evil I learned
did me much harm. She was very fond of books of chivalry; but
this pastime did not hurt her so much as it hurt me, because she
never wasted her time on them; only we, her children, were left
at liberty to read them; and perhaps she did this to distract her
thoughts from her great sufferings, and occupy her children, that
they might not go astray in other ways. It annoyed my father so
much, that we had to be careful he never saw us. I contracted a
habit of reading these books; and this little fault which I
observed in my mother was the beginning of lukewarmness in my
good desires, and the occasion of my falling away in other
respects. I thought there was no harm in it when I wasted many
hours night and day in so vain an occupation, even when I kept it
a secret from my father. So completely was I mastered by this
passion, that I thought I could never be happy without a
new book.
2. I began to make much of dress, to wish to please others by my
appearance. I took pains with my hands and my hair, used
perfumes, and all vanities within my reach--and they were many,
for I was very much given to them. I had no evil intention,
because I never wished any one to offend God for me.
This fastidiousness of excessive neatness [1] lasted some years;
and so also did other practices, which I thought then were not at
all sinful; now, I see how wrong all this must have been.
3. I had some cousins; for into my father's house no others were
allowed an entrance. In this he was very cautious; and would to
God he had been cautious about them!--for I see now the danger of
conversing, at an age when virtue should begin to grow, with
persons who, knowing nothing themselves of the vanity of the
world, provoke others to throw themselves into the midst of it.
These cousins were nearly of mine own age--a little older,
perhaps. We were always together; and they had a great affection
for me. In everything that gave them pleasure, I kept the
conversation alive,--listened to the stories of their affections
and childish follies, good for nothing; and, what was still
worse, my soul began to give itself up to that which was the
cause of all its disorders. If I were to give advice, I would
say to parents that they ought to be very careful whom they allow
to mix with their children when young; for much mischief thence
ensues, and our natural inclinations are unto evil rather than
unto good.
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