The Life of the PartyCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
The Life of the Party
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Costume -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Lawyers -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
"And say, git onto the cunnin' elbow sleeves our little playmate's
sportin'."
"Yes, but goils, just pipe the poilies--ain't they the greatest ever?"
"They sure are. Say, kiddo, gimme one of 'em to remember you by, won't
you? You'll never miss it--you got a-plenty more."
"Wot d'ye call wot he's got on 'um, anyway?" The speaker was a male,
naturally.
"W'y, you big stoopid, can't you see he's wearin' rompers?" The answer
came in a giggle, from a gay youthful creature of the opposite sex as
she kicked out roguishly.
"Well, then be chee, w'y don't he romp a little?"
"Give 'um time, cancher? Don't you see he's blowin' out his flues? He's
busy now. He'll romp in a minute."
"Sure he will! We'll romp with 'um."
A waggish young person in white beaded slippers and a green sport skirt
broke free from the cavorting ring, and behind Mr. Leary's back the
nimble fingers of the madcap tapped his spinal ornamentations as an
instrumentalist taps the stops of an organ; and she chanted a familiar
counting game of childhood:
"Rich man--poor man--beggar man--thief--doctor--loiryer----"
"Sure, he said he was a loiryer." It was Mr. Cassidy breaking in. "And
he said his name was Algernon. Well, I believe the Algernon part--the
big A. P. A."
"Oh, you Algy!"
"Algernon, does your mother know you're out?"
"T'ree cheers for Algy, the walkin' comic valentine!"
"Algy, Algy--Oh, you cutey Algy!" These jolly Greenwich Villagers were
going to make a song of his name. They did make a song of it, and it was
a frolicsome song and pitched to a rollicksome key. Congenial newcomers
arrived, pelting down from upstairs whence they had been drawn by the
happy rocketing clamour; and they caught spirit and step and tune with
the rest and helped manfully to sing it. As one poet hath said, "And now
reigned high carnival." And as another has so aptly phrased it, "There
was sound of revelry by night." And, as the second poet once put it, or
might have put it so if so be he didn't, "And all went merry as a
marriage bell." But when we, adapting the line to our own descriptive
usages, now say all went merry we should save out one exception--one
whose form alternately was racked by hot flushes of a terrific
self-consciousness and by humid gusts of an equally terrific sneezing
fit.
VI
"Here, here, here! Cut out the yellin'! D'you want the whole block up
out of their beds?" The voice of the personified law, gruff and
authoritative, broke in upon the clamour, and the majesty of the law,
typified in bulk, with galoshes, ear muffs and woollen gloves on, not to
mention the customary uniform of blue and brass, ploughed a path toward
the centre of the group.
"'S all right, Switzer," gaily replied a hoydenish lassie; she, the
same who had begged Mr. Leary for a sea-pearl souvenir. "But just see
wot Morrie Cassidy went and found here on the street!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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