Under these circumstances I can only pray that the Lord in his tender mercy would not allow Satan to gain an advantage over me. By the grace of God my heart says,--Lord, if I could be sure that it is thy will that I should go forward in this matter, I would do so cheerfully; and, on the other hand, if I could be sure that these are vain, foolish, proud thoughts, that they are not from thee, I would, by thy grace, hate them, and entirely put them aside. My hope is in God; he will help me and teach me. Judging, however, from his former dealings with me, it would not be a strange thing to me, nor surprising, if he called me to labor yet still more largely in this way. The thoughts about enlarging the orphan work have not arisen on account of an abundance of money having lately come in; for I have had of late to wait for about seven weeks upon God, whilst little, very little comparatively, came in, _i. e._ about four times as much was going out as came in; and, had not the Lord previously sent me large sums, we should have been distressed indeed. Lord, how can thy servant know thy will in this matter? Wilt thou be pleased to teach him? Dec. 11. During the last six days, since writing the above, I have been, day after day, waiting upon God concerning this matter. It has generally been more or less all the day on my heart. When I have been awaking at night, it has not been far from my thoughts. Yet all this without the least excitement. I am perfectly calm and quiet respecting it. My soul would be rejoiced to go forward in this service, could I be sure that the Lord would have me to do so; for then, notwithstanding the numberless difficulties, all would be well, and his name would be magnified.