NICHOLAS IVÁNOVICH. Mary, dear one! That is not the main thing. When you
began to speak I too began and wanted to talk to you quite frankly. We
must not go on like this. We are living together, but don't understand
one another. Sometimes we even seem to misunderstand one another on
purpose.
MARY IVÁNOVNA. I want to understand, but I don't. No, I don't understand
you. I do not know what has come to you.
NICHOLAS IVÁNOVICH. Well then, try and understand! This may not be a
convenient time, but heaven knows when we shall find a convenient time.
Understand not me--but yourself: the meaning of your own life! We can't
go on living like this without knowing what we are living for.
MARY IVÁNOVNA. We have lived so, and lived very happily. [Noticing a
look of vexation on his face] All right, all right, I am listening.
NICHOLAS IVÁNOVICH. Yes, I too lived so--that is to say, without
thinking why I lived; but a time came when I was terror-struck. Well,
here we are, living on other people's labour--making others work for
us--bringing children into the world and bringing them up to do the
same. Old age will come, and death, and I shall ask myself: "Why have I
lived?" In order to breed more parasites like myself? And, above all, we
do not even enjoy this life. It is only endurable, you know, while, like
Ványa, you overflow with life's energy.
MARY IVÁNOVNA. But everybody lives like that.
NICHOLAS IVÁNOVICH. And they are all unhappy.
MARY IVÁNOVNA. Not at all.
NICHOLAS IVÁNOVICH. Anyhow, I saw that I was terribly unhappy, and that
I made you and the children unhappy, and I asked myself: "Is it
possible that God created us for this end?" And as soon as I thought of
it, I felt at once that he had not. I asked myself: "What, then, has God
created us for?"
Enter Man-servant.
MARY IVÁNOVNA [Not listening to her husband, turns to Servant] Bring
some boiled cream.
NICHOLAS IVÁNOVICH. And in the Gospels I found the answer, that we
certainly should not live for our own sake. That revealed itself to me
very clearly once, when I was pondering over the parable of the
labourers in the vineyard. You know?
MARY IVÁNOVNA. Yes, the labourers.
NICHOLAS IVÁNOVICH. That parable seemed to show me more clearly than
anything else where my mistake had been. Like those labourers I had
thought that the vineyard was my own, and that my life was my own, and
everything seemed dreadful; but as soon as I had understood that my life
is not my own, but that I am sent into the world to do the will of
God ...
MARY IVÁNOVNA. But what of it? We all know that!
NICHOLAS IVÁNOVICH. Well, if we know it we cannot go on living as we are
doing, for our whole life--far from being a fulfilment of His will--is,
on the contrary, a continual transgression of it.
MARY IVÁNOVNA. But how is it a transgression--when we live without doing
harm to anyone?
NICHOLAS IVÁNOVICH. But are we doing no harm? Such an outlook on life is
just like that of those labourers. Why we ...
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