The Lighter Side of English LifeMoore, Frank Frankfort
General
The Lighter Side of English Life
Moore, Frank Frankfort
England -- Social life and customs; England -- Social life and customs -- Humor
The only clergyman in Broadminster who, so far as I have heard, was
fully qualified to take a place in one of the Barchester groups was a
person named Gilliman. He was a small, stout gentleman with a comical
ruddy face and sparse, bristly grizzly hair. He had no benefice, but
was one of those unattached parsons who, in the phrase of the servants'
registry office, was ready to “oblige” either by the day or as locum
tenens for an absent incumbent. He had been left a small competence by
his mother--quite enough for a clerical bachelor to live on, and he was
a bachelor. He never sought for a job, but when he got one he proved
that he held fast to the excellent precept that the labourer is worthy
of his hire. If any brother parson expected that he would take his duty
out of love or zeal, that parson left himself open to disappointment.
I think he would have made a worthy curate to Mr. Quiverful; but Mr.
Quiverful would have felt so chastened in spirit by his proximity that
he would have got rid of him within a month.
He was a zealous patron of the amateur, whether musical or dramatic. He
could always be depended on to buy one of the cheaper, but never one
of the cheapest, tickets for a concert or a comedy, and he seemed as
pleased with the most incompetent amateur as with the best. He was
socially unambitious; no one seemed to invite him to any function, with
the exception of the Dean's annual garden party: he went to this, and so
did every one else.
It was not until he had been a resident in Broad-minster for several
years that people found out why he had settled in that town. It might be
supposed that there were enough clergymen here to serve as a reservoir
for all the neighbourhood in an emergency. I once heard an American lady
who was on a cathedral tour through Europe say just outside Santa Croce
on a feast day: “There are priests to burn in Florence if I do my sums
right.” Her slang meant that there was a superfluity of the clergy in
that city, and perhaps she was right. I will not make use of her slang
in referring to Broadminster, but assuredly it might strike anyone that
there was a sufficient number of clerics in the purlieu of the Minster
to meet the needs of the neighbourhood without making the presence of
so accommodating a person as Mr. Gilliman a convenience. In an unguarded
moment, however, he confessed to some one that years ago, when he had
first come to the town, it was his earnest hope to drop into some vacant
stall in the Minster. He had dreams of being appointed to a canonry by
some fortunate combination of circumstances, and he had gone on
waiting for such an accident, and meantime attending all the amateur
performances in the place.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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