The Lighter Side of English LifeMoore, Frank Frankfort
General
The Lighter Side of English Life
Moore, Frank Frankfort
England -- Social life and customs; England -- Social life and customs -- Humor
He was a very good preacher, people said who had heard him, and others
who had not heard him; but few were aware of how he managed to excel in
a direction that seemed just the opposite to the bent of such a man.
The truth was that his father had been a zealous rector of a parish in
Devonshire, and had bequeathed to him a large sackful of sermons that he
had preached to his flock since his ordination; and when the fortunate
legatee was called on “to oblige” for an absent cleric, he simply put
his hand into the mouth of the sack and drew out a sermon, put it into
his pocket, and went away and preached it in due course, dropping it
into his sermon sack on his return. Thus it was that people said he
preached much better than they expected--and he probably did so; but he
could not tell you the next day on what subject he had preached.
That legacy and his impartial system of dealing with it served him in
good stead; but upon one occasion it might have caused him to feel some
awkwardness if he had not been so completely detached from his duty
in the pulpit. The fact was that he had been called away at a moment's
notice to take the duty for a clergyman who had knocked himself up by
umpiring in a cricket match on a very hot Saturday. He had never been
to the place before, so he had to look up trains and connections, and by
the time he had got out of this maze the train that he had selected was
almost ready to start. He hurried to the faithful sack and pulled out a
fat sermon roll, and rushed away for the station.
He was lucky in catching the train and the subsequent connections, and
arrived at the church with nearly half an hour to spare. He went through
the service and found himself in the pulpit with his sermon opened on
the cushion in front of him.
Now it so happened that the discourse which he had drawn in his usual
way from the paternal sack was the valedictory sermon preached by his
father in the church of which he had been rector for forty years, and
there was the son beginning it in a church which he had never seen
before that morning!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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