The Lighter Side of English LifeMoore, Frank Frankfort
General
The Lighter Side of English Life
Moore, Frank Frankfort
England -- Social life and customs; England -- Social life and customs -- Humor
“Genuine pictures!” I repeated, being rather puzzled to know just what
he meant; but then I remembered that he was accustomed to attend sales
where pictures labelled “Reynolds,” “Gainsborough,” “Murillo,” “Moroni,”
and so forth were sold for whatever they might fetch--usually from
fifteen shillings to a pound, the word “genuine” never being so much as
breathed by anyone. When I recollected this I laughed and said--“Make
your mind easy. If these are not genuine pictures you will never see any
come under the hammer.”
“And what do you think they will fetch?” he inquired.
“I could not give you the slightest idea,” I replied; “but if you can
get me that one in front of us for five hundred pounds I'll give you
twenty-five per cent, commission.”
He was staggered.
“Five hundred!” he cried. “You must be joking, sir.”
“I admit it,” said I. “I should have said a thousand.”
“But really, sir, how far would we be safe to go for them all? There are
four of us here, and we are ready to make a dash for them if we had your
opinion about them.”
“Look here, my good man,” said I. “You may reckon on my giving you five
hundred pounds for any picture in this room that is knocked down to you.
I'll put that in writing for you if you wish.”
“It's not necessary, sir,” he repeated. “We'll buy the lot of them for
you for less money.”
“Do, and I shall be a rich man afterwards,” said I.
He went away chuckling.
The next day the auctioneer, who was an Irishman, after disposing of
several lots of ordinary things, reached the pictures.
“I needn't say anything about them,” he remarked. “They speak for
themselves: I think you'll all agree with me that there's not one of
them that isn't a speaking likeness. What shall we say for this one--No.
137 in the catalogue, “Lady Betty--------,” by Sir Joshua Reynolds? Look
at her, ladies and gentlemen, and tell me if you think there are many
artists in this county who could do anything better than this--all hand
painted, and guaranteed. What shall we say?”
“A pound,” suggested my dealer quite boldly. The auctioneer turned a
cold eye upon him for a moment, and then I saw that there was a twinkle
on its glossy surface.
“Very well, sir,” he said. “A pound is bid for the picture--twenty-five
shillings, thirty shillings, thirty-five, two pounds--thank you, sir;
we're getting on--two-ten; I'm obliged to you, ma'am--three pounds
ten--three pounds ten--three pounds ten bid for the portrait of Lady
Betty. Oh, ladies and gentlemen, wouldn't it be a shame if such a
picture was to be knocked down for seventy shillings and it worth nearly
as many pounds. Four pounds--thank you, sir. The bidding is against you,
ma'am. Well, if there's no advance----”
It was my dealer who had made the last bid, and I must confess that for
some seconds I actually fancied that I was to be placed in possession of
a Reynolds for four pounds!
[Illustration: 0317]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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