The Lightning Conductor Discovers AmericaWilliamson, C. N. (Charles Norris)
General
The Lightning Conductor Discovers America
Williamson, C. N. (Charles Norris)
Automobiles -- Fiction
THE HONBLE MRS. WINSTON (NEE MOLLY
RANDOLPH) TO HER FRIEND, THE
COUNTESS OF LANE
_On Board SS. Evangeline,_
_March 15th._
DEAREST MERCEDES:
It will be days, also nights (worse luck, for my cabin chirps like a
cricket, sings like a canary, and does a separate realistic imitation of
each animal in the Zoo!), before we get to New York. But I have crochet
cramp and worsted wrist from finishing a million scarfs since we sailed,
so I feel it will ease the strain to begin a letter to you. I dare say,
anyhow, I shan't close it till the last minute, with a P. S. to say
we're arriving safely--_if_ we do! One never knows nowadays. And we have
on board a man who's been torpedoed twice. I hope he isn't the kind to
whom everything happens in threes. By the way, he's the Ship's Mystery,
and this letter can't be a complete record of the voyage unless I tell
you about him. _Place aux dames_, however. There's a girl I want to tell
you about first. Or had I better polish off our own family history and
make a clean sweep of ourselves before beginning on anybody else? On
second thoughts, I will!
Jack's getting better splendidly. I can't say he's getting _well_, for
that will take a long time yet, I'm sorry to--but no, to be an Honest
Injun, I'm _not_ sorry. I'm glad--_glad_! He's done his "bit"--quite a
large bit--for his country, and if his bones and muscles were knitting
as rapidly as I knit socks for soldiers, he would insist on rushing back
to do another bit. Of course he wouldn't have consented to come over
here, even for the three months I've made him (figuratively speaking)
"sign on for," if the doctors hadn't all said he'd be a crock for
months. Even he has to admit that he may as well crock in America as
anywhere else; and I've persuaded him that I can't possibly decide what
to do with the place Cousin John Randolph Payton left me on Long Island
without his expert advice. It may be the first time I was ever unable to
decide a thing by myself, but there _must_ be a first time, you know.
And I'm simply purring with joy to have Jack at my mercy like this,
after all I went through with him at the front. We shall celebrate a
wedding day presently. Ten years married, and I adore Jack just ten
times more than I did the day I exchanged a Lightning Conductor for a
husband.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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