The Lights and Shadows of Real LifeArthur, T. S. (Timothy Shay)
General
The Lights and Shadows of Real Life
Arthur, T. S. (Timothy Shay)
Conduct of life -- Fiction; Temperance -- Fiction
"Oh! mercy! Kitty. You wouldn't believe it, but there's a monstrous
negro in my room!"
"Gracious me! Mrs. W--, a nager?"
"Yes, indeed, Kitty!" returned Mrs. W--, trembling in every limb.
"And worse and worse, he's in my bed! I just 'woke up and thought it
was Mr. W--by my side But, when I looked over, I saw instead of
his face, one as black as the stove. Mercy on me! I was frightened
almost to death."
"Is he aslape?" asked Kitty.
"Yes, sound asleep and snoring. Oh! dear! What shall we do? Where in
the world is Mr. W--? I'm afraid this negro has murdered him."
"Och! the blasted murtherin' thafe!" exclaimed Kitty, her organ of
combativeness, which was very large, becoming terribly excited. "Get
into mistress's bed, and the leddy there herself, the omadhoun! The
black, murtherin' thafe of a villain!"
And Kitty, thinking of no danger to herself, and making no
calculation of consequences, seized a stout hickory clothes pole
that stood in one corner of the kitchen, and went up stairs like a
whirlwind, banging the pole against the door, balusters, or whatever
came in its way. The noise roused W--from his sleep, and he raised
up in bed just as Kitty entered the room.
"Oh! you murtherin' thafe of a villain!" shouted Kitty, as she
caught sight of his black face, pitching into him with her pole, and
sweeping off his night-cap, at the imminent risk of taking his head
with it.
"Hallo!" he cried, not at all liking this strange proceeding, "are
you mad?"
"Mad is it, ye thafe!" retorted Kitty, who did not recognize the
voice, and taking a surer aim this time with her pole, brought him a
tremendous blow alongside of the head, which knocked him senseless.
Mrs. W--who was at the bottom of the stairs, heard her husband's
exclamation, and, knowing his voice, came rushing up, and entered
the room in time to see Kitty's formidable weapon come with terrible
force against his head. Before the blow could be repeated, for
Kitty, ejaculating her "murtherin' thafe of a villain!" had lifted
the pole again, Mrs. W--threw her arms around her neck, and cried,
"Don't, don't, Kitty, for mercy's sake!" It's Mr. W--, and you've
killed him!"
"Mr. W--indade!" retorted Kitty, indignantly, struggling to free
herself. "Is Mr. W--a thafe of a nager, ma'am?"
But even Kitty's eyes, as soon as they took the pains to look more
closely, saw that it was indeed all as the mistress had said.
W--had fallen over on his face, and his head and white neck were
not to be mistaken.
The pole dropped from Kitty's hands, and, with the exclamation,
"Och! murther!" she turned and shot from the room, with as good a
will as she had entered it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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