"'No, sir. I'm afraid not, sir.' "'Well, then, my friend, don't you see that you haven't a single qualification for this important post?' said Lincoln, in a reproachful tone. "'Yes, I do,' said the applicant, and he took leave humbly, almost gratefully."--(Chicago _Record-Herald_.) * * * * * NOT GOOD OFFICES, BUT A GOOD STORY. When Washington and its chief guardians were more sorely besieged by office-seekers than by the Confederates, a politician locally important and generally importunate was sent as a "committee of one" to headquarters to secure the loaves and fishes for his congeries. But in about a fortnight this forager came home, full of emptiness. Asked if he had not seen the President--accounted commonly as only too accessible--and why he did not get the places, he replied glumly, yet with a tinge of brightening: "Yes, I saw the old man. He heard me state my errand, the President did. He heard me patiently all right enough; and then he said: 'I am sorry not to have any good offices for you, but--I can give you something--a good story!' "And he went on with-- "'Once there was a certain king who kept an astrologer to forewarn him of coming events, and especially to tell him whether it was going to rain when he wished to go on hunting expeditions. One day he had started for the forest with his train of lords and ladies, when he met a farmer. "'"Good morning, farmer," said the king. "'"Good morning, king," said the farmer; "where are you folks going?" "'"Hunting," said the king. "'"Hunting! You'll all get wet," said the farmer. "'The king trusted his astrologer and kept on, but at midday there came up a tremendous rain that drenched the king and all his party. "'On getting back to the palace the king had the astrologer decapitated, and sent for the farmer to take his place. "'"Law's sakes!" said the farmer, when he arrived, "it ain't me that knows when it's going to rain, it's my donkey. When it's going to be fair weather, he always carries his ears forward, so. When it's going to rain, he puts 'em backward, so." "'"Make the donkey the court astrologer!" shouted the king. "'It was done; but the king always declared that that appointment was the greatest mistake he ever made in his life.' "Mr. Lincoln stopped there," said the office-seeker. "'Why did he call it a mistake?" we asked him. 'Didn't the donkey do his duty?' "'Yes,' said the President, 'but after that every donkey in the country wanted an office.'" * * * * * ENCOURAGE LONGING FOR WORK. In 1861, the badgered President had so novel an application that he wrote the annexed note to facilitate its harvest: "To Major Ramsey: The lady--bearer of this--says she has two sons who want to work. Set them at it, if possible. Wanting to work is so rare a merit that it should be encouraged." * * * * * "BUT AARON GOT HIS COMMISSION!"