"And I have not _drunk_ that, you see!" As a return for his action to win the hat, he asked Greene not to wager any more--a resolve which he took to oblige him. * * * * * WORSTED IN A HORSE-TRADE. Until Lincoln--seeing that his decisions created enemies, whichever way they fell--renounced being umpire for horse-racing and the like events, momentous on the border, he officiated in many such pastimes. Before he found them "all wrong," he had a horsy acquaintance in a judge. This was at a time when he was practising law, which involved riding on circuit, as the court went round to give sittings like the ancient English justices, attending assizes. During such excursions, they played practical jokes, naturally. Among their singular contests was a bet of twenty-five dollars--as forfeit if, in horse-swapping, the loser rejected the horse offered on even terms with the one he "put in." Neither was to know anything of the equine paragon until simultaneously exhibited. As good sport was indicated where two such arrant jokers were in conflict, a vast throng filled the tavern-yard where the pair were to draw conclusions. At the appointed hour the court functionary dragged upon the scene a most dilapidated _simulacrum_ of man's noblest conquest--blind, spavined, lean as Pharaoh's _kind_, creeking in every joint--at the same time that his fellow wagerer carried on under his long arm a carpenter's _horse_--gashed with adze and broadax, bored with the augur, trenched with saw and draw-knife--singed, paint, and tar-spotted, crazy in each leg of the three still adhering--in short, justifying Lincoln to reverse his cry at viewing the real animal: "Jedge (for judge), this is the first time I ever _got the worst_ of it in a hoss-trade!" * * * * * HOW MANY SHORT BREATHS? In the nearest town to the Lincolns lived a man called "Captain" Larkins. He was short and fat, and consequently "puffing." He was logically fond of "blowing." For example, if he bought any object, he would proclaim that it was the best article of its sort in the settlement. His favorite orating-ground--in fact, the only theater for displays was the front of the village store, where, among the farmers who came in to dicker and purchase stores, he would dilate. Lincoln did not like the pompous little fellow whose rotund and diminutive figure was in glaring contrast to his own--a young man, but colossal, while his stature was augmented by his meagerness. "Gentlemen," bawled Larkins, "I have the best horse in the county! I ran him three miles in two-forty each and he never fetched a long breath!" "H'm!" interrupted Lincoln, looking down at the man panting with excitement; "why don't you tell us how many short breaths _you_ drew?" * * * * * LINCOLN'S HEIGHT.