England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Short stories, English
Then she stopped, because he was already some twelve feet from the
ground, and she knew that one should not speak to a man who is climbing
ruined walls. So she clasped her hands and waited, and her heart seemed
to go out like a candle in the wind, and to leave only a dark, empty,
sickening space where, a moment before, it had beat in anxious joy. For
she loved him, had loved him these two years, had loved him since the
day of their first meeting. And that was just as long as he had loved
her. But he had never told his love. There is a code of honour, right or
wrong, and it forbids a man with an income of a hundred and fifty a year
to speak of love to a girl who is reckoned an heiress. There are plenty
who transgress the code, but they are in all the other stories. He drove
his passion on the curb, and mastered it. Yet the questions--Does she
love me? Does she know I love her? Does she wonder why I don't speak?
and the counter-questions--Will she think I don't care? Doesn't she
perhaps care at all? Will she marry someone else before I've earned the
right to try to make her love me? afforded a see-saw of reflection,
agonising enough, for those small hours of wakefulness when we let our
emotions play the primitive games with us. But always the morning
brought strength to keep to his resolution. He saw her three times a
year, when Christmas, Easter, and Midsummer brought her to stay with an
aunt, brought him home to his people for holidays. And though he had
denied himself the joy of speaking in words, he had let his eyes speak
more than he knew. And now he had reached the wallflowers high up, and
was plucking them and throwing them down so that they fell in a wavering
bright shower round her feet. She did not pick them up. Her eyes were on
him; and the empty place where her heart used to be seemed to swell till
it almost choked her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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