The Literary Shop, and Other TalesFord, James L. (James Lauren)
General
The Literary Shop, and Other Tales
Ford, James L. (James Lauren)
American periodicals; Authorship -- Humor
We were still standing there, when one of the hands, who seemed to be
working overtime, appeared with a step-ladder, climbed up to one of the
highest shelves, and brought down three dusty Washington’s Birthday
jars, which he opened on the spot. Two were in good condition, but
the third containing a poem on “Our Uncrowned King,” was found to be
in a bad state of preservation and emitted such a frightful odor that
the workman hastily carried it outside the building, Mr. McClure and I
following to see what was the matter with it. The poem was lifted out
with a pair of pincers, and we saw in an instant that decay had started
in the third verse, in which “Mount Vernon” was made to rhyme with
“burning,” and had spread until the whole thing was ruined.
“I am very lucky to get off as easily as this,” said Mr. McClure, as
he noted the name of the author of the defective rhyme, “because it
sometimes happens that these jars containing rotten poetry explode and
do a great deal of damage.
“These are our odd lots,” he explained, as we continued our tour of
inspection. “Here are a few cans of ‘Envois’ for use in the repair
shops, and here are a lot of hitherto unpublished portraits of people
and pictures of houses and babies and all sorts of things that have
been left over from our serials, and will come in handy for the Grant
memoirs. Those pictures of the children of old Zachariah Corncob, who
used to live next door to Lincoln, will do very well for Benjamin
Franklin or Henry Clay in infancy, and there is that house that Mr. and
Mrs. Elizabeth Stuart Phelps Ward used to live in, left over from a lot
of forty that I contracted for last year; that will look well as the
house that would be occupied by Andrew Jackson if he were alive now and
lived in Massachusetts. You see, I am reducing the literary business to
a system, and my plan is to have nothing go to waste.”
“It seems to me, McClure,” I remarked, as we left the building, “that
you have everything here but love poems; won’t they bear canning, too?”
“Certainly,” replied the great manufacturer, “but I have to put them
all in cold storage, even during the winter months.”
LITERARY LEAVES BY MANACLED HANDS.
The attempt of Warden Sage, of Sing Sing, to provide literary labor for
the idle convicts has excited so much interest that yesterday morning a
party of well-known literary men visited the state prison on invitation
of the warden, and made a careful inspection of the methods employed in
turning out convict-labor prose and verse.
Some of this work is done in the cells, and some is carried on in
the shops formerly devoted to the manufacture of clothing, brushes,
shoes, and other articles turned out under the old contract system.
In the corridors outside the cells and in the shops were to be seen
“trusties” going about with dictionaries, both Webster and rhyming,
which they supplied to any convict who raised his hand as a signal.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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