“Janet, my woman,” said he, “we’ve known each other a long time, an’—an’—I’ve never got a kiss yet. D’ye, think I may take one, my bonnie lass?” “Well, Mr. Brown,” replied she, arching her lips in a tempting way, “jist as ye like; only be becomin’ and proper wi’ it.” “Let us ask a blessing first,” said the good man, closing his eyes and folding his hands. “For what we are about to receive, the Lord make us thankful.” The chaste salute was then given and warmly returned. “Oh, Janet, that _was_ good!” cried the dominie, electrified by the new sensation. “Let us have another, and then return thanks.” Janet did not refuse, and when the operation had been repeated, the enraptured dominie ejaculated, in a transport of joy, “For the creature comforts which we have now enjoyed, the Lord be praised, and may they be sanctified to our temporal and eternal good!” History says that the fervent petition of the honest dominie was duly answered; for in less than a month Janet became Mrs. Brown. A CLERGYMAN’S JOKE. A gentleman who was travelling in the West a few years ago relates this amusing incident: I was spending the night in a hotel in Freeport, Illinois. After breakfast I came into the sitting-room, where I met a pleasant, chatty, good-humored traveller, who, like myself, was waiting for the morning train from Galena. We conversed freely and pleasantly on several topics, until, seeing two young ladies meet and kiss each other in the street, the conversation turned on _kissing_, just about the time the train was approaching. “Come,” said he, taking up his carpet-bag, “since we are on so sweet a subject, let us have a practical application. I’ll make a proposition to you. I’ll agree to kiss the most beautiful lady in the cars from Galena, you being the judge, if you will kiss the next prettiest, I being the judge.” The proposition staggered me a little, and I could hardly tell whether he was in earnest or in fun; but, as he would be as deep in it as I could possibly be, I agreed, provided he would do the first kissing, though my heart failed somewhat as I saw his black eye fairly sparkle with daring. “Yes,” said he, “I’ll try it first. You take the back car, and go in from the front end, where you can see the faces of the ladies, and you stand by the one you think the handsomest, and I’ll come in from behind and kiss her.”