A judicious mother told her little girls they must not be hanging around and kissing the young gentlemen who visited the house; it was not becoming in them, and it might be troublesome. A few days afterwards an old gentleman, a friend of the family, called, and, while noticing the children, drew one of them to him and offered to kiss the little thing. But no, she would have nothing of the sort; and when the gentleman was gone, the mother said,— “My dear, when a nice old gentleman like that offers to kiss a little girl like you, you shouldn’t put on such airs and refuse him. I was quite ashamed of your conduct.” “But, mother, you told us we mustn’t kiss the gentlemen,” said Maggie. “Maggie, there is a great difference between letting young men kiss you, and such old people as Mr. Venable who just went out. When such persons offer to kiss you, it is to show their kind feelings, and you should take it as a compliment, and not act foolishly.” Maggie put on a very serious face, and, after thinking upon it awhile, replied, “Well, mother, if I _have_ to kiss the gentlemen, I would a great deal rather kiss the young ones.” Children and fools speak the truth. THE BAFFLED COURTIER. The “Book of Merrie Jests” relates in the quaintness of a century or two ago how that the wonderful Sir Digby Somerville did keep constantly a houseful of grand company at his seat in Suffolk. At one time among his guests did happen a young gentleman from the court, whose apparel was more garnished with lacings and gold than his brain with modesty or wit. One time, going into the fields with his host, they did espy a comely milkmaiden with her pail. “Pr’ythee, Phyllis,” quoth the courtier, leering the while at the girl, “an I give thee a kiss, wilt thou give me a draught of thy ware?” “In the meadow,” quoth she, “thou wilt find one ready to give thee milk, and glad of thy kiss, for she is of thy kind.” The court-gallant looked in the meadow, and espied a she-ass. “So sharp, fair rustic!” quoth he, angrily: “thou lookest as if thou couldst barely say boo to a goose.” “Yea, and that I can, and to a gander also.” Whereat she cried out lustily, “Boo!” The young man hastened away, and the worshipful Sir Digby did laugh heartily, and entertained his guests with the tale. A THANKFUL SPIRIT. The chronicles of the time of John Brown of Haddington, author of the “Marrow of Divinity,” describe his first osculatory experience. He had reached the mature age of five-and-forty without ever having taken part in labial exercises. One of his deacons had a very charming daughter, and for six years the dominie had found it very pleasant to call upon her three or four times a week. In fact, all the neighbors said he was courting her; and very likely he was, though he had not the remotest suspicion of it himself. One evening he was sitting as usual by her side, when a sudden idea popped into his head.