Of the magical power of the touch, And the odorous perfume distilled, Already there’s written so much That poetical books are now filled. But a thought rather novel occurs To my mind in regard to the sound: It is this,—that a kiss is just like The swell which in music is found. Beginning most gently at first, To the middle you gradually swell, Then softly reduce to the close, And, though luscious, take care not to dwell. This gradual ascent to the swell Prepares for the climax of bliss, And letting one down as he rose Will weaken a fall such as this. This provision of nature most wise I have studied, and sagely conclude ’Twas done by this scale of degrees Certain death from excess to elude. THE DANGEROUS SIDE. THE LEGAL VIEW. POOR ENCOURAGEMENT. An Iowa school-teacher was discharged for the offence of kissing a female assistant. Whereupon a local paper inquired, “What inducement is there for any person to exile himself to the country districts of Iowa to direct the young idea in its musket-practice, if he is to be denied the ordinary luxuries of every-day life? If a Platonic exercise in osculation, occasionally, cannot be connived at, where are the mitigating circumstances in the dreary life of a Western schoolmaster? We give it up.” KINDLY CAUTION. A young fellow in a Western town was fined ten dollars for kissing a girl against her will, and the following day the damsel sent him the amount of his fine, with a note saying that the next time he kissed her he must be less rough about it, and be careful to do it when her father was not around. RETALIATION. The following colloquy occurred in an English divorce-case. Mr. Sergeant Tindal, “He treated her very kindly, did he not?” Atkinson, “Oh, yes, very; he kissed her several times.” Mr. Sergeant Tindal, “And how did she treat him?” Atkinson, “Well, she retaliated.” AN EXPENSIVE KISS.