The Little Brown Jug at KildareNicholson, Meredith
General
The Little Brown Jug at Kildare
Nicholson, Meredith
Fathers and daughters -- Fiction; Governors -- Fiction; Humorous stories; North Carolina -- Fiction; South Carolina -- Fiction
"That," said Ardmore with decision, "is creditable only to the
gentleman's romantic imagination. His face is anything but dukely, and
there's a red streak across it which points clearly to the recent sharp
blow of a weapon; and no one would ever strike a duke. It's utterly
incredible," and Ardmore lifted his brows and leaned back with his arms
at length and his hands clasping the riding-crop, as he contemplated
with supreme satisfaction the tell-tale red line across the duke's
cheek.
The Duke of Ballywinkle leaped to his feet, the color that suffused his
pale face hiding for the moment the mark of the riding-stick.
"What the devil is this joke, Ardy?" screamed the duke. "You know I'm a
guest at your house; you know I'm your sister's husband. I was riding
with Miss Dangerfield and her horse ran away with her, and she may come
to harm unless I go after her. This cut on the face I got from a low
limb of one of your infernal trees. You are putting me in a devil of an
embarrassing position by holding me here."
He spoke with dignity, and Ardmore heard him through in silence; but
when he had finished, the master of Ardsley pointed to the chair.
"As I understand you, you are pleading not guilty; and you pretend to
some acquaintance with me; but I am unable to recall you. We may have
met somewhere, sometime, but I really don't know you. The title to which
you pretend is unfamiliar to me; but I will frankly disclose to you that
I, sir, am the governor of North Carolina."
"The what?" bleated the duke, his eyes bulging.
"I repeat, that I am the governor of North Carolina, and as a state of
war now exists in my unhappy kingdom, I, sir, have assumed all the
powers conferred upon the three coördinate branches of government under
the American system, namely, or if you prefer it, I will say, to wit:
the legislative, the executive and the judicial. It is thus not only my
privilege but my painful duty to pass upon your case in all its sad
aspects. As I have already suspended the writ of habeas corpus and set
aside the right to trial by jury we will consider that I sit here as the
supreme court."
"For God's sake, Ardy--" howled the duke.
"That remark I will not now construe as profanity, but don't let it
occur again. The first charge against you is that of insulting a woman
on the Sunset Trail in the estate called Ardsley, owned by a person
known in law as Thomas Ardmore. There are three witnesses to the fact
that you tried to stop a woman in the road, and that streak on your face
is even more conclusive. Are you guilty or not guilty?"
"You are mad! You are crazy!" shouted the duke; but his face was very
white now, and the mark of the crop flamed scarlet.
"You are guilty, beyond any question. But the further charge against
you that you pretend to be--what did he say his name was, Cooke?--that
you pretend to be the Duke of Ballywinkle must now be considered. That
is quite right, is it; you say you are the Duke?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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