British -- France -- Fiction; French -- England -- Fiction; Love stories
There before them went madame Vervier, her white, heelless feet hardly
seeming, in their beautiful tread, to touch the grass she passed over.
They had no glimpse of her face. She left them in their privacy, feeling
so secure that their privacy, since it was in his hands, could only be
for her benefit. How deeply madame Vervier had read his heart yesterday!
How clearly she had seen that all that he asked was to show her beauty
to her child and to help her, always, in hiding from Alix the pitiful
handful of dust that, in her truth to him, she had displayed! “I hope
you don’t blame her,” he repeated, for Alix had made no reply, and,
glancing at her now, and seeing her eyes bent down, he guessed that at
his question they had filled with tears.
“It would be strange, wouldn’t it, Alix,” he said gently, “if it were I
who had to defend your mother to you.”
“Very strange, Giles,” said Alix in a low voice.
“It’s all for love of you,” said Giles; and in spite of the handful of
dust he knew that this was the fundamental truth about madame
Vervier—“because of what she thinks best for you.”
“But may one never be a judge of that oneself?” said Alix.
“Not if you are a young French girl; no; you may not,” said Giles, after
a moment’s reflection. “Isn’t that just the great difference between you
and us? We think for ourselves; but you, if you are a girl, may only
think for yourself when you are married.”
“I like England better in that,” said Alix. “One should have a voice.”
“Perhaps your mother feels that you’ll learn to have a right to a voice
by being in England.”
“I do not think so,” said Alix. “I do not think she believes in having a
voice. That is another great difference. You believe that one learns to
have a voice by being given freedom.”
“You can’t be free here, Alix; I see that for myself,” Giles said,
looking at her and wondering how far her thought could follow. Already
in such unexpected places it ran ahead of his own.
She raised her eyes to his. “You mean it is not safe, in France, for a
girl to be free?”
“I’m afraid not. Not yet.”
“And what is our danger? Can you tell me that?”
Giles found an answer that he had only recently seen for himself: “The
danger of growing up; in the wrong way; and too soon.”
“And Maman thinks that I run that danger by remaining with her? Why am
I, then, different from other French girls whose mothers keep them with
them? Why is she different from other French mothers? You need not tell
me that she loves me. I see how it breaks her heart.” Alix’s voice
trembled suddenly. “It breaks her heart to have to send me away. And why
should it be so?”
She mastered the tears that had risen while she spoke, and her eyes held
his. It was the strangest thing in his experience of Alix to feel
himself seeking the right word in which to justify her mother to her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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