British -- France -- Fiction; French -- England -- Fiction; Love stories
They had reached the road that wound among the birch-woods and dusk had
fallen in it. The sky, paled to a faint apricot tint, shone dimly
between the trees. Toppie stood still on the wayside grass and looked at
him. Ineffaceably, in this instant of strange, unbelievable alienation
(for had he not, in his last words, challenged Toppie with madame
Vervier’s standards as set against her own?), Toppie’s image was stamped
upon his mind; as ineffaceably as on that first time he had seen her.
And now all her light was withdrawn. It was the end, as that had been
the beginning. Pale, wraith-like in the dusk, she fixed her eyes upon
him and they were dark with their repudiation. “Alix is not the product
of her mother. Alix is good and her mother may be bad. You know better
than I do what you think of her mother. It’s you I find fault with,
Giles. Your words don’t tell me what you think.”
“I’ve kept nothing from you,” said Giles. It was a lie. He knew it, and
he saw that Toppie knew it. He attempted an amendation of his statement.
“Everything you’ve asked I’ve answered.”
“Have you? I will ask this, then. Did she leave her husband with
monsieur Vervier? Did her husband divorce her because of monsieur
Vervier? Was she unfaithful to her husband?”
“There were faults on both sides, I believe. Alix wouldn’t have been
given for half the time to her mother if there hadn’t been faults on
both sides.” Giles forced himself to speak steadily. “She was very
young. People don’t judge these things so hardly nowadays.”
Toppie, her eyes on his, put aside the palliation. “Did she leave
monsieur Vervier with another man? Was she unfaithful to monsieur
Vervier, too? Is she a woman who has had lovers?” said Toppie, and the
word was strange on her lips.
Giles stood there, stricken. He was so aware of horrible danger,
pressing in upon him and Toppie from every side, that he could hardly
command his thoughts to an order. All that came was a helpless
literalness. There was no refuge from Toppie’s eyes; for her, or for
himself. “Yes,” he said, “I’m afraid she is. That’s the trouble, you
see.”
Toppie then looked away from him. She looked round her, standing so
still, with no gesture of amazement or distress. But there was a sudden
wildness in her eyes.
“Toppie, dear Toppie,” Giles pleaded. “She is not a bad woman. Wrong;
but not bad. You can’t judge of these things. I’m not defending
her.—It’s only that, seeing her, seeing all the beauty she has made in
her life, I cannot feel about her mistakes as I should have thought I
would. That’s why you felt me strained in speaking of her. It was a
shock to me. And I didn’t want you to know. Put it away now, Toppie, I
do beg of you. It has nothing, nothing to do with us. She’s a very
beautiful, a very unfortunate woman, and it’s only by chance that we’ve
stumbled upon these unhappy things in her past.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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